hypanis.ru 3 Tips to Resilient Living | Career Girl Network



3 Tips to Resilient Living

Posted June 23, 2014 by Belinda Chiu in On the Ladder

Career Girls can be hard on themselves. Striving for a life of perfection only leads to more stress, lack of productivity, and unnecessary wrinkles. Studies of young children have shown that those who strive for perfection and approval from others (i.e. applause when they get the answer right) are less willing to take risks for fear of failure, leading to stagnated growth and meltdowns when things don’t work out. Rather, those who are willing to try and fail – and then try again – and are not “rewarded” each time they get an answer “right,” build resiliency that will protect them and push them to further heights later one.

We can build our own resiliency, too. We can learn to accept life’s hard knocks and use them to our own advantage. After all, the adage, “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” isn’t without its merits.

  1. See the bigger picture — It is easy to be overwhelmed by our problems and difficulties. It sometimes feel like our problems are the worst thing ever to happen. There is a saying, however, that suggests we take our problem and place it in the sea of problems facing everyone else in the world. Once we do that, we are more likely to choose to take our own problem back. In other words, when we see things with a broader perspective, our problems may not seem so terrible.
  2.  Remember impermanence —  However, our problems are sometimes simply crappy and horrible. When this happens, it is critical to keep in mind that all things are impermanent. Our problems, ourselves, everything. Just as all good things come to an end, so do all bad. Nothing is permanent, no matter how we may perceive it to be.
  3. Know that no one cares — Not that no one cares about you, but that in reality, no one cares whether you “failed” or not done everything “perfectly.” It may seem that way (“oh, you don’t understand my parents,” “my job demands perfection”), but much of that fear has been created by your own imagination. It is not to say you do not want to try and do well, but everyone is so worried about their own failures, they really don’t have to time to care how “perfect” you are.

About the Author

Belinda Chiu

Dr. Belinda Chiu is a social change strategist, coach, and facilitator. Like you, she believes that everyone has the transformational ability to reach her potential and beyond. Dr. Chiu incorporates a practice of mindfulness to help individuals harness their natural strengths, achieve results, and carve their own paths towards professional fulfillment. For more tips, subscribe to the monthly newsletter, Why Not? on www.hummingbirdrcc.com or follow on @hummingbirdrcc.