4 Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life a la 50 Shades of Grey

Posted May 29, 2012 by Monica O'Connell in Life After Five

Here at Career Girl Network, our vision is to engage women, and ultimately provide career success for everyone in our network. But we’re doing something a little different today and talking more about your relationships in the bedroom than the boardroom, because frankly, everyone is talking about this new book, and we have to as well!

The book 50 Shades of Grey by E.L. James has been the talk of the town on blogs, TV talk shows and radio programs. What’s the buzz about? It’s a love story between a young college student and a sought after billionaire with a twist. The book is described as Erotica and some have been calling it “Mommy Porn” with the male character having an interest in kink and introducing his sexual preferences to the female character. Through the series the characters fall in love while exploring a variety of sexual interests.

What’s the best part of this book? It’s that people are talking about it. I’ve had numerous clients come in and ask if I’ve read the book. As a therapist, I’m usually the person who broaches the topic of sex for clients. Now they’re bringing it up right away. I’ve had girlfriends chatting what part of the book they’re on and I’ve had people asking questions about the type of sex that happens in the book. The Minneapolis based adult sex store The Smitten Kitten comments that the book “gives people permission to try something new.” This is amazing for singletons and couples everywhere because a happy sex life is an important part of a happy relationship.

So here’s the big question, whether you’ve read the book or not? Are you ready to try something new? Here are 4 ways to spice up your sex life a la 50 Shades of Grey.

1. Check out the Smitten Kitten if you’re in Minneapolis or online. Find somewhere local to do a workshop or add a new toy to your adult playtime. Feeling intimidated? The educators at Smitten Kitten are so cool, calm, non-judgmental. They talk about sex and sex toys like you and I might talk about Essie nail polish colors or our favorite restaurant. Still unsure? Check out a local store online in the privacy of your own home.

2. If you’ve read the book, pick one thing that happens in the book to try with your partner or self.

3. What’s one thing you’d like to try but you haven’t yet it? Ask your partner the same question. Commit to doing something different together. Negotiate if it is far out of your comfort zone.

4. Write down a list of your favorite moves and things your partner does in the bedroom. Have them do the same thing. Cut up the list and put it into a hat. Take turns drawing an item and doing the corresponding action. This will help you change the order and get you out of your regular routine.

Here’s another opportunity for you. Since I’m starting the conversation about sex, I’d love hear your thoughts. Feel free to leave a comment and if that’s too uncomfortable, send us an email. I would be happy to address questions you may have but don’t want to publicly ask. The book has taught quite a few people that they are not alone. You aren’t either.

About the Author

Monica O'Connell

Monica O’Connell is a Licensed Marriage and Family therapist in Minneapolis, Minnesota. In her practice, she spends her career cheering on “Career Girls” as they learn how to get the most out of life. Monica works with arguably some of the most successful, intelligent, inspiring women in the Twin Cities who tackle self-discovery, career success, and what’s getting in the way of their true desires. She shares her favorite moments as those “best described not by words but by the stomach aching, face soreness that comes from spending an entire day laughing with loved ones.”