Sitting at her desk, Jill stared off into the clouds thinking about how much she wanted to go out for a run. Out for her evening run, she couldn’t help but think about all the laundry waiting for her at home that she’d been putting off. Doing laundry, she kicked herself because she could be out having a nice dinner with friends, and instead she’s home cleaning. Later out for a drink, her mind drifts off to the big presentation she’s got the next day.  And so the cycle goes.

Sound familiar?

If you’re having trouble being present, you’re not alone. Remember when life was simple? You might have to think back to when you were about nine years old. Popsicles and swimming pools were what you were focused on. Living in the moment wasn’t even a question; it was how you naturally went about your days. Fast forward to now: a complex life, full schedule, major responsibility, and lots of overwhelm.

It’s becoming harder and harder to be fully present in what we are doing in any one moment, because we have so many things vying for our attention. We are thinking about all the other things that we have to do, want to do, or should be doing. A simple life has been replaced by a busy one.

A hunger for success and achievement is driving this life style and it’s jeopardizing our peace of mind and focus.

When your mind is off daydreaming about something else you could be doing, you are not present. Your body might be there, but your mind and heart are somewhere else. It’s impossible to make the impact you want, or fully experience something if you aren’t even there.

Are you having trouble getting things completed?
Are you struggling to come up with solutions or new ideas?
Are you exhausted and simultaneously unfulfilled?

You might be struggling with being fully present.

The present is the magical moment that is unfolding right now. It’s not the second before, or the minute after. Being present is being fully engaged, involved, and attentive to what is happening with your body, mind, and heart. It is participating, observing, and sensing simultaneously. It fuels productivity and fulfillment.

One of the easiest ways to be present and gather your focus is to do a quick centering exercise whenever you need to get back to what you’re doing. It doesn’t matter if you’re working, working out, or working on your beach body… centering, or meditation, can simply and easily bring your awareness and attention back to the moment. This allows you to show up more fully – meaning you are being your best, not that worried half-focused version of you.

When you’re present you get more done, have more fun, and experience less stress and worry.

Practice these 5 steps to bring yourself into the present moment. With more experience and mastery you can do this in as little as 10 seconds.

1. Heighten your awareness. Start to notice when you aren’t being present, but remove any judgment or guilt around that realization. With practice you’ll get quicker at catching yourself mentally or energetically drifting off.
2. Put the past and future aside. Stop thinking about what happened earlier and let go of the need to plan out the future. Those things will be there for you to return to later if you’d like. Repeat this phrase to yourself: “Be here now.”
3. Stop and breathe. Still your body, and focusing on nothing but your breath for a moment. See how long you can make your inhale and exhale. As you slow your breath more oxygen enters your body, making you more calm and alert.
4. Gather your focus. Close your eyes and imagine you have a magnet in the center of your body. Imagine pulling all of your energy and attention back towards your core. As you do this exercise feel yourself becoming more powerful.
5. Direct and go. Decide where you want your attention to go, and intentionally send it there. This will energize whatever you are doing in that moment, and allow you to engage fully.

Remember being present isn’t just something to apply to getting more work done, although it certainly helps! Be present while you’re taking care of yourself. Be present to being in love. Be present to making an impact in your community. Be present to how amazing you really are.

The post What does being present really mean? appeared first on Career Girl Network.

Sometimes you love your job, and it completely fuels your fire. Sometimes you hate it, and it completely drags you down.  Sometimes you love it and you hate it, and sit at your desk wondering why you are so SO tired (and hoping that the coffee will kick in. Please. Anytime!).

I understand both feelings.  This morning, I woke up feeling tired – I knew I had to do some logistics planning for an upcoming new venture I’m working on, and the thought of excel spreadsheets drove me to want to hide under the covers…and I LOVE my job.  And on the other hand, when I was consulting, I would wake up when I had certain meetings on the calendar and just…roll over.  I would end up pressing snooze to avoid having to get up, and then when I did finally get up I would race to get ready, throw on some clothes, and feel annoyed at work that IT made me look bad.  And feel bad.  Obviously my wrinkled attire and poorly applied eye makeup was due to my job, right?
I share this to say that we have all been there.  And it’s kind of a vicious cycle. You wake up tired, go into work feeling detached, end up phoning in some of your job, and then feel worse.  You go home exhausted from doing less than your best, feel guilty, get annoyed, and then the cycle starts all over again the next day.
You may love your job, you may be tired of your job, but either way, you know you have to stay in your job for a little longer at least.  So, where does that leave you?

1. The first thing I want you to think about when you are stuck at your desk procrastinating and feeling low is this: When was I last exceptional in my work? When did you last do something that was not only required, but went so far above and beyond you got a large sense of satisfaction knowing you had done great work? Remember that feeling? When you know that what you have done is amazing, and you feel inspired, satisfied, and complete? Remember that burst of energy that you get when you go one step farther than what is expected of you and someone says: “Wow.” And more importantly, you say “wow.” Your happiness and energy at work come from how happy you are with yourself – and sometimes all we need to get a small boost of pleasure is knowing that we have done our best, and what we have done is good. Focus, get involved, and do one thing that is absolutely exceptional today.  Not to be Pollyanna about it (I’m too snarky for Pollyanna), but I promise you will feel better.
2. Think about where you want to be in a year. When you have that thought, what #1 thing would make you happier in a year than where you are today? Be specific, and get really clear on what that thing is, and then start moving towards it.  Sometimes, when work drags us down and life is busy, we stop making progress in our careers.  And progress is hugely motivational.  It provides you that intrinsic shot in the arm of “You did well!” that keeps us going when things get tough, gets us engaged and excited about what is next, and gets us off the couch when Real Housewives is on.  Or maybe that is just me.

You can do this!

Christie Mims is The Radical Fairy Godmother to the Woman Trapped in Her Suit.  Feeling stuck in your career? Get her free JOB unstuck kit here! Want more adventure in your career? Come to Costa Rica with her for a Career on Fire retreat this summer!

The post Is Your Job Dragging You Down? 2 Things To Do That Will Get You Excited Again! appeared first on Career Girl Network.

A revolutionary concept entered my life last week, attributed of course to the most amazing executive coach I know, Beth Ruske from Tiara Coaching. It’s natural, when one is staring at a massive “to-do” list to break that list into categories. Naturally, you immediately think each thing on that list is something you personally need to accomplish. If you’re lucky, you have a team surrounding you both personally and professionally to delegate certain tasks to. As you scan the list, you think some of the following:

• I can’t make that event, I should ask someone else on my team to go in my place.
• Oh no, I won’t be able to get to the dry cleaners before it closes. I’ll ask my husband to stop on his way home.
• I simply don’t have the hours in the day to get through this long-term project successfully, perhaps we can bring in a contractor to help with the work.
• Can’t I get my own assistant?

When you look at your list this way – What can I do myself? What can I delegate? – Beth Ruske told me (and it’s changed the way I look at my list), that you’re missing one massive place to delegate to – no one.

Take a moment, pause, and think about that concept. What is on your list right now that you could delegate to no one?

What does that mean? It means that something on that list needs to drop. You, my dear, need to drop. the. ball. And if you’re anything like me, your head is spinning right now. Women spinning 100 plates in the air at any time would be screaming, “But I can’t! I can’t just drop something for no reason at all.” The truth is, though, you can! Dropping the ball, breaking one of those spinning plates, what would it really do to hurt you? The truth is….nothing.

So I took Beth’s advice the last couple of weeks, and it’s amazing what I’ve been able to both accomplish and eliminate. Now, I look at my to-do list and I ask myself these questions:

1. Is this item something I absolutely have to do and no one except me could do it?
2. Is this item something anyone has to do? Is it urgent and important?
3. What would happen if this item was never accomplished?

If the answers are “No, no, and no,” then I know who I’m ready to delegate that task to….no one! Join the task list revolution. It might just change your list forever!

The post Delegating to No One appeared first on Career Girl Network.

I had the pleasure of hearing Arianna Huffington, president and editor-in-chief of the Huffington Post speak a couple weeks ago at the NAPW National Networking Conference.  To say she was inspiring would be an understatement.  One of the main themes running through many of Arianna’s anecdotes and advice was the concept of learning to lean back.

Sheryl Sandberg’s recent book, Lean In: Women, Work & the Will to Lead, has successfully created a much needed (and sometimes heated!) dialogue about the importance of “leaning in,” or taking an active role in our own career management.  But Arianna takes this advice a step further, stressing the need to recharge regularly so that we can lean in reinvigorated, with a clear mind and sound judgment.  She says that -

In order to be effective at leaning in, we must learn to lean back.  

Leaning back means taking care of ourselves, inside and out.  Here are a few ways to get started:

Get Enough Sleep.
Make sleep a priority.  Arianna’s wakeup call came in the form of a broken cheekbone when she fell asleep at the desk and hit her face out of sheer exhaustion.  Now she makes sleep a priority and is a self-described “sleep aficionado.”

Arianna spoke about how in today’s society it is almost seen as a badge of honor to be sleep-deprived.  She has found that businessmen, especially, brag about how few hours of sleep they get as though it makes them more macho.  Quite the contrary.  It makes them less effective.  Nothing beats a good night’s sleep and the feeling that you are ready to take on anything.

As Nate Anglin says in his “Where Fitness Meets Corporate” blog, in a post specifically about lack of sleep:

Sleep deprivation is a nasty habit by most business professionals and you’re the one that pays for it. Not enough sleep lowers your ability to deal with stress. All the small things become large and all the large things become life or death situations. Being able to manage stress is a MAJOR factor in controlling your life and your business.

Regenerate Often.
Take time to regenerate.  Recharging is more than just getting your zzzzs.  Even if just for a couple minutes at a time, Arianna suggests we check in multiple times a day and assess our stress level.  She has developed a free app, GPS for the Soul, to help us do just that.  The app begins by gauging our stress level and then interrupts this cycle by connecting us with that which helps us de-stress and put things in perspective, for example, music, poetry and pictures of loved ones.

Whether you use the app above, or just take a few minutes for a walk, to phone a friend or do a little light stretching, the point is to consciously build time into your day to de-stress.  In the long run, this ability to “reboot” will make you much more effective and able to make better decisions at work, and in other parts of your life!

Redefine Success.
Arianna also stressed the importance of redefining success.  In the traditional male model, money and power equals success.  According to her calculations, successful businesswomen pay a very high price based on that definition of success, with a 40% higher incidence in heart disease and 60% higher incidence in diabetes.  No matter what the statistics, there’s no denying that if you are not taking care of yourself, your health will suffer.  Thus, the new formula for success must include well-being.  All the money in the world doesn’t matter if you don’t have your health or peace of mind.

It’s one thing to hear about the importance of taking care of oneself and overall work life balance from doctors and health experts.  They don’t understand; they aren’t in the business world.  But when we are given the advice to “lean back” from super successful businesswoman, entrepreneur, author and media mogul, Arianna Huffington, I think we’d be wise to listen for a change.

The post Why Leaning Back is as Important as Leaning In appeared first on Career Girl Network.

Perhaps this will wake all of us up to the power of sleep and the need for less stress in our lives.

The post How Stress and Sleeplessness Connect appeared first on Career Girl Network.

Enrolling in a business writing course can help you learn how to communicate clearly and directly. These are essential skills if you want to be recognized as a leader in business. Check out these suggestions for the best courses for improving your skills.

1. Sauder School of Business – Power Writing for Business Leaders

Sauder’s course in Power Writing for Business Leaders is an interactive workshop that focuses on teaching students how to write clearly by analyzing their readers and what they need. It covers drafting, revising, and editing material, dealing with writer’s block, mapping out key ideas, and more.

2. HurleyWrite – Online Business Writing

The Online Business Writing course is offered in three versions: Self Study, Expert Guide, and Pace Yourself. The two latter versions include feedback from a professional editor from all your submissions. The course covers the building blocks of business writing, composing e-mails, business letters, reports, and editing documents.

3. Kent State University Ashtabula – Effective Business Writing

New sessions for the Effective Business Writing course start every month. Start by learning brainstorming techniques and how to organize your writing. The course move on to teach strategies for how to organize your ideas, edit and proofread them. It also covers how to say “No” effectively in a business document.

4. Harvard Extension School – Strategic Business Communication

This graduate-level course in Strategic Business Communication is held on campus. It focuses on discussing problems presented in case studies and in-class writing exercises. Students have the opportunity to critique each other’s work and to discuss communicating in letters, e-mails, memos, oral presentations and reports.

5. Corexcel Online Writing Course – Effective Business Writing

If you are looking for a convenient way to improve your writing skills, consider taking an online writing course. The Corexcel course is a self-paced model that includes instruction on the importance of effective communication, communicating with purpose, brainstorming, conducting research, writing quickly and concisely, revising jargon, and self-assessment.

6. University of Toronto – The Business Approach to Writing

This course in The Business Approach to Writing is offered online. Students learn the skills required to express themselves appropriately, even when the message is a sensitive or a negative one. The course also covers report writing, press releases, and briefing notes.

7. StoryStudioChicago – Business Writing Fundamentals

The Business Writing Fundamentals course is offered on campus and runs for six weeks. Students learn about writing style, how to understand what they don’t know, and techniques for mastering the art of persuasive communication.

8. Georgetown University – Business Writing for Communicators

Georgetown University’s Business Writing for Communicators course teaches students how to communicate in a strong, confident manner, even when they are pressed for time. Writing and editing will be part of almost every session.

9. University of California Berkeley Extension – Business Writing Fundamentals

The Business Writing Fundamentals program offered by UC Berkeley is an on-campus program. Students meet for two, full-day sessions. The program covers how to target readers, organize information effectively and get to the important points in the communication quickly. It also deals with finding the proper tone in business communication.

10. Rutgers University – Effective Business Writing Workshop Online

The University’s Effective Business Writing Workshop Online is always open for registration. Students complete five one-hour sessions when they get individual instruction. Each participant can share his or her real-world questions and concerns with the instructor, including edited documents from the workplace.

A business leader may have wonderful idea about how to manage a team, a department or an entire company. If he or she isn’t able to communicate them clearly, or doesn’t have a good grasp of basic grammar, the message is going to get lost in translation. Investing in a good writing course is a sound strategy for people who want to make sure they don’t let this minor detail hold them back in their work.

About the Author:

Leslie Anglesey works as an educator at the University of Southern California and an editor at paper writing services. She loves sharing tips for academic success and graduate job search.

The post Top 10 Writing Courses that Improve Business Leadership Skills appeared first on Career Girl Network.

Why? You fight harder on behalf of someone else….

In Adam M. Grant’s terrific book, Give and Take, he discusses different negotiating styles. One of his findings demonstrates that ‘givers’, people who eschew the law of reciprocity in favor of giving unconditionally, tend to negotiate with more fervor when they negotiate on behalf of someone else. Interestingly enough, women fall into this ‘givers’ style when they negotiate as well.

As I listened to the passage (on my handy-dandy iPhone) the information rang familiar. Grant used a salary negotiation as his example. Men are far more likely to ask for more money during a salary negotiation as compared to women in the same situation, unless the woman in question is negotiating as an agent for someone else. When a woman acts as an agent, or advocate she tends to stand her ground and worry less about how the other side perceives her.

Makes sense to me — when I negotiate on my own behalf I suck at it. I tend to give in too fast and too easily, however if I negotiate on behalf of someone else I forget about how I’m perceived by the other party and instead, focus on securing the best deal possible.

Why do women (me, included) behave this way? I found an interesting answer at LeanIn.org in a video featuring Margaret A. Neale, the Adams Distinguished Professor of Management at Stanford’s Business School. Simply put, women are concerned about appearing,

Too demanding, too greedy, or not nice.

Really? That’s so…well….wimpy, especially the ‘not nice’ part, but often times the opposite of ‘not nice’ (for a woman) takes the form of a ‘real bitch’. A ball-buster. A naysayer. I could go on….

Instead, let’s look at Professor Neale’s recommendations:

1.)  Engage in communal problem solving – Adopt what Neal refers to as a ‘communal orientation.’ Use phrases like I have a problem, or We have a problem. Enlist the other side’s help.

2.)   Use communal packaging – Package multiple options for the other party. We can do A, B, or C – here are the pros and cons of each option. Now the discussion becomes focused on refining the best option. It moves from a competitive environment to a more collaborative one.

3.)  Use your natural tendencies – If most women negotiate better on behalf of someone else then use that information to your benefit. Instead of negotiating your salary on your behalf, negotiate it on behalf of your husband, your aging parents, or your cat. Or, all three! Whatever….you get the point.

Neal sums it up this way,

“Expectation drives behavior. If we expect to do poorly, we will behave in ways that insure a poor performance.”

Always expect better from and for yourself when you negotiate. Engage in the negotiation as if you’re acting on behalf of women everywhere. Because you are!

Watch Dr. Neal’s full video here.

The post Negotiate on Behalf of Someone Else appeared first on Career Girl Network.

You hit “reply all.” Or you had one too many drinks at the office holiday party and behaved inappropriately. Maybe someone pressed the wrong button on a terrible day and you blew up at them. Perhaps you forgot to mail an important document or you gave out proprietary information without realizing that you’d done anything wrong, but you’re finding out now from a customer or from your boss that you screwed up big time.

Mistakes are easy to make. But if you’re a perfectionist like me, you really hate knowing that, much less admitting it. Yes, failure is an important and necessary part of life, not to mention part of success. However, as a perfectionist, I like to do things smarter and not harder…so I even want to be a perfectionist about the process of making said mistakes. Here, a complete guide to making mistakes like the professional that you are:

• Just be honest. You’ve heard it said that honesty is the best policy. If you want to be a pro, though, honesty is the only policy. This involves also being honest with yourself. Think about that mistake and realize your role in it. Then tell the parties affected that you indeed made a mistake, if they didn’t already know. Don’t fudge the details or the surrounding situation; being completely truthful about the ordeal provides for thorough problem-solving opportunities. Lying about details to save face can lead to inefficient solutions and can blow things up even more.
• Ask for help. If you don’t know how to solve the issue or rectify the situation, don’t be afraid to ask for help. If you would normally ask the affected parties for help, then be sure to have some ideas for solutions up front before speaking with them. It’s important to show that you are pro-active, but also that you are open to better ideas for the fix. If you are fortunate enough to have a supervisor that remembers their own mistakes in life, make sure to take notes when they’re giving their ideas. If your supervisor remembers that they are instead perfect and always have been, it doesn’t necessarily mean that their solutions aren’t good ones–remember to maintain your humility and use it to deflect any ego or arrogance you might encounter when asking for assistance.
• Don’t forget to apologize. This one can be hard for many of us, and unfortunately, there are still people who believe that admitting mistakes shows weakness or incompetence. It’s not (see above: everyone makes mistakes.) Remember that, “I’m sorry you feel that way” is not an apology. Make your apology honest and heartfelt–people will be able to see right through insincerity. Be sure to include that, in addition to being sorry, you are going to make it up to the person. A supervisor once told me to use this line, and I think it works well: “As humans, we all make mistakes. What separates us from that point is whether or not we will fix them, and I intend on fixing this and making sure it doesn’t happen again.” Who wouldn’t identify with that?
• Forgiveness doesn’t happen overnight. It may be that you never see the affected parties again, or it wasn’t such an egregious error that it will take time to rebuild a reputation. But it might. If the affected parties don’t want to move past it quickly, remember that trust takes time. Make it a point after you’ve expressed your sincere apologies with your words to show them with your actions that you are able to be trusted again, and that you want to make it up to them.
• Post-game analysis. To read my articles is to know that this concept is one that I believe works in any and every situation. Reflecting on your mistake gives you the opportunity to see what led to it happening, how you should have handled it versus how you did handle it, and how to make sure that it doesn’t happen again.  Then, actually use that information. People will be impressed with your ability to learn from your errors.

To err is human, right? But just because it’s part of our chemical makeup to screw things up now and again doesn’t mean we have to be amateurs at it. If you want to become even more expert at making mistakes, I recommend the “My Best Mistake” from thought leaders on LinkedIn. Start using these tips and watch yourself grow as a person and a professional, not to mention the improvement of others’ opinions of you.

The post How To Make Mistakes Like A Pro appeared first on Career Girl Network.

Today’s morning post comes to you from Tiara International and is all about their upcoming “15 Days to Wow” Program. Get involved! Who is Tiara? Tiara International LLC s a global company providing women’s leadership development. We offer coaching, consulting and speaking services to help you grow as a leader — in your work, your community and your life.

Can you change your life in 15 days?

We think you can. In a way it’s simple as 1-2-3, right?

1. Know what you want next in life.
2. Identify the most effective and fun actions to take to get there.
3. Take those actions.

For example if you search on “moving to Italy” you will see a straight-forward 13-step wikiHow that outlines what to do to move to Italy. Something that seems like a courageous leap into a new life can be pared down into a simple 1-2-3 … list. Check it out. If you followed these steps you would move to Italy.

Yet we know life changes are more complex. They are complicated because they challenge deep-seated beliefs, well-practiced habits and outdated commitments. At Tiara we know habits run deep. We say we want an uptick in business sales yet we don’t show up in the office or at our computer. We say we want to be strong and ready for our first triathlon while we hit the snooze button. We say we want a new job while we invest all our time and energy in our current one without taking any actions to find new opportunities. Are we crazy?

No. We are just practiced at generating our current level of result. It takes patience, focus and support to change direction or reach a new level. It takes repeated practice to actually gain momentum and realize that you are operating in a whole new way. It takes willingness to let go, be wrong, row, try something new, be vulnerable, be successful or move on. The question we think is more interesting is not “can you change”? It’s “will you change”?

This can seem overwhelming, so one of our favorite approaches is to break it down into 15 day chunks. What do you know you need to change about your life? What can you try for 15 days?

If you need support we offer it in three ways.

• First, we have Monday morning #15daystowow Twitter Chats where you can get inspiration and support for women around the world who lead each 15-day segment of their lives with intention.
• Second, we have our official 15 Days To WOW(SM) program launching May 6. We know you can change your life in 15 days for $15. These women did.
• Third, we have an introductory life coaching session for $99 (regularly $200) for one-on-one support.

The 15 Days program and Twitter Chats  are led by Tiara Leader Elizabeth Ruske who is passionate about leading your life powerfully — 15 days at a time. If you try our coaching session, you will be matched with one of these top quality global coaches based on your focus.

Now is the time. Be willing to go for it in May. We will support you.

—

www.tiaracoaching.com

@tiaracoaching

Tiara on Facebook

Tiara on LinkedIn

The post Can You Change Your Life in 15 Days? appeared first on Career Girl Network.

Whether you are looking for new business, a new job, the love of your life (or maybe just a date for Friday night!), networking is an unavoidable fact of life.  Most of us don’t love to do it and could use a little help.  The truth is that no matter what the purpose of your networking, the key to its effectiveness lies in your ability to connect.  That common ground, that spark, that “oh yeah, this person gets me” is what takes you from a business card or profile amongst many, to a person we all want to get to know better…someone we want to buy from, work with, or date – or maybe all three!

I think this Connect With Anyone Creed sums it up perfectly!

Your turn – what are your best tips for connecting with people?  Can you give an example when doing so really elevated the relationship beyond basic networking?

Infographic compliments of Live Your Legend, (a blog devoted to finding and doing work you love).

The post How to Connect with Anyone appeared first on Career Girl Network.