My childhood is full of father-daughter moments. I have many fond memories of the time we spent together, just the two of us. Dad loves to tell the story about when I was helping him paint the fence and I painted the neighbor’s dog’s nose.  I remember our walks to swim lessons, and specifically the time when I was around 5 years old and I chickened out and didn’t jump off the big kids’ diving board. But Dad was still proud and told me I was courageous for even trying!

I also loved movies, and subjected my Dad to his fair share of the Disney classics including Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella. We would often cozy up on the couch with a big bowl of popcorn. We even had a special bowl – Mom’s fancy popcorn bowl – for just that purpose.

I still remember the horrible feeling on the day when I insisted that I would carry it by myself into the living room. Mom wasn’t around to tell me no or keep a close eye on me – and no shocker – I dropped it. Popcorn went everywhere…but worse, the popcorn bowl broke into million pieces. I was around 6 or 7 years old at the time, and my immediate reaction was to burst into tears. This was our only popcorn bowl, our special bowl. Mom always told me to be careful. I hadn’t listened – and look what happened, just what she had said!

But Dad told me to calm down. No worries, he said. With a little superglue, it would be okay. Good as new. Mom would never even know. My father actually sat there that night and calmly glued the bowl back together. Obviously it could never be used again, but I didn’t know that. In my mind, Dad had saved the day!

Moral of the story? Stay calm! Of the countless lessons I’ve learned from my Dad, this is both one of the simplest and most meaningful. Whether in our personal lives or at work, it always pays to stay calm in the face of even the most stressful situations. It is only when we do so, that we can think clearly and determine the best plan of action. And when all else fails, there ain’t nothin’ that can’t be fixed with a little superglue!

Happy Father’s Day to the fathers that continue to support their Career Girls – and to my own Dad, thanks for teaching me to stay calm. Happy Father’s Day, I love you!

The post Keep Calm & Carry On Superglue, A Lesson from Dad appeared first on Career Girl Network.

Hey there! You might remember me as the “I-only-do-challenges-in-month-long-increments person” (see: whole 30 & meditation challenge). Usually what I do is set a goal and maybe tell one or two people and then keep it to myself until it’s over and I’ve reflected on what I’ve learned. This time, I’m only 9 days in but I’m just bursting with information so I want to share some of it with you.  This piece comes from a class at Moksha Yoga (for those of you who are Minneapolis people)  Imagine my delight when I learned hot yoga can really be sweaty self-love and acceptance therapy.  Yum, right?

So I show up for yoga about 15 seconds before the class is supposed to start and I have this story going back and forth in my head about if I’m really tired (it was 6am after all) and sore (it was my 8th class in a row of hot yoga) or if this is just in my head and I can power through it.  We start moving along and at some point in the class we were transitioning from one position/pose to another and I totally decided in that moment that I was going to skip a part and move to the resting pose.

I did it.  And the teacher noticed.  I’m almost self centered enough to think that everything the yoga teacher is saying about the practice is about me but this time she really did start talking and it was about what I just did. She was standing right behind me and I hadn’t noticed.  This probably isn’t you but I know that I try to make my yoga pose extra yogi-ish when someone else is watching.  Have you ever been there?

“Find your sense of self integrity.  Once you’ve decided to commit to your practice, stand in it. Do all of the small steps.  Your community probably won’t always notice but you will know.  Show up for yourself. “

Busted.  It was such a learning experience.

I could have actively chosen to be in a resting pose the whole class if that’s what was right for my body.  I didn’t choose that. I chose to do the movements but I was trying to cheat, to get to resting faster, to let myself off the hook.  I was compromising my integrity.  I was decreasing my self trust. I wasn’t showing up for myself.

Our selves, our bodies are waiting for us to show up.  To give all of us, to see all of us in our own light of self love.  To go through every teeny tiny move of the practice because we deserve it.  We deserve the gift of our whole self.  Not a half assed job that we would never give to someone else.  All of us, with integrity.

What’s your yoga wisdom? I’d love to hear it.  I’m learning so much.

The post Show Up for Yourself appeared first on Career Girl Network.

Focusing on your work can be difficult when your personal relationships are in turmoil. We all encounter tough parts of our lives when our career has to be placed on the back burner, whether it’s for parents, kids, or a significant other. However, both our job and our personal life are crucial aspects of our identity and well-being, and maintaining a healthy balance is important to living a fulfilling life. Place too much importance on either one, and you run the risk of losing the other. If you’re struggling in your personal life right now and work is the last thing you want to deal with, worry no more.

Allow Yourself “Worry Time”

If you try to sweep something under the rug or don’t allow yourself to properly digest a hard situation, you can end up in worse mental shape later. If you need to take a day off, do so. Let yourself worry, cry, relax; do whatever it is you need to acknowledge what’s going on in your life. If you’re the type of person who needs to tackle things head on, go for it! Just make sure that when your “worry time” is over, you’re ready to get back at it.

Ask For Help

We women don’t do this often enough. When the going gets tough, turn to your friends, family, or coworkers for extra help. Each relationship can afford you a different type of support; your best friend can lend an ear to listen to your problem, while your office buddy may be able to take on some of your work load. Be sure that when the time comes for you to return the favor, you’re there for them with open arms.

Make Work a Welcome Distraction

Dive headfirst into whatever you’re working on now, whether that be at the office or your passion project. Sometimes work offers us a welcome distraction when we have negativity in other parts of our life. Check your feelings at the door and rock that presentation; you may gain some points with the boss and get a much needed self-confidence boost.

We all go through periods of time where dealing with work when our personal life is in crisis seems impossible. Yet, this unavoidable situation can be dealt with and handled efficiently to get you back on your feet and more successful than ever.

The post When Your Personal Life is in Crisis appeared first on Career Girl Network.

Last week we chatted about finding people who best reflect us and where we are going.  I want to talk a little bit about why we might feel ok with the relationships that we are in even if we know they aren’t serving us.

Do you know which ones I mean? Dating that guy that you have found far too many reasons not to date but you’re doing it anyway? It’s safe.

That co-worker who is uber negative and complains a lot but she’s around for after work happy hours?

Sometimes we think it feels good to settle.  To be in the predictable. To know what’s coming next.  We can just snuggle in, we know the water is warm and just stay stagnant for a bit.

We also know we’re here when people offer us opportunities and we’re on autopilot to say no.  We come up with a lot of excuses why the offer isn’t quite right.  That workout with your friend at 6am? There’s no way that can happen because you can’t get up that early.

It’s during these two times when it becomes obvious that it’s painful to look in the mirror.  That no matter how many great people we have in our lives to reflect us, we’re just not ready.  We’re hurting too deep.

Did anyone ever tell you that it’s ok to be here? This is a sweet spot disguised as pain.  Being here means that you’re ready to begin.

It also means that you’re going to start seeing the pain you’ve been hoping to tuck away for good.  You’ve been hiding out with those people you know don’t quite serve you, in that place you know at least won’t feel scary.

You get to be here.  And that pain you’re afraid to have in front of you, that’s ok.  It’ll wait until you work up that courage you have tucked away. Scared is a feeling too.

Your task today is just to notice.

And when you’re ready to dive in, know that those amazing relationships are waiting to show you exactly who you are: imperfect and deserving just the same.  Lovely and daring and fantastic.

And when you’re ready, you’ll start to see your pain and all of the other parts of you.  And as that happens, you’ll sink into those relationships that serve you.  The ones that truly reflect you.

The post When You’re Ready appeared first on Career Girl Network.

By now you’ve probably heard the catchy Justin Timberlake song “Mirrors” (Which I think sounds oddly like ‘Cry me a River’ but Justin isn’t asking me) and the premise of the song is “It’s like you’re a mirror, a mirror looking back at me.” It’s about the idea of the reflection we receive when we’re in relationships.  The contents of the song are romantic and while that’s certainly one person in our circle of people, I want to expand my conversation to include the people with whom we choose to spend the most time and how they reflect us.

Have you ever been to a fun house at a carnival? Inside there are tons of mirrors.  Some of them make us look taller, some shorter, some blur our faces or stretch them out or squish them up.  This is also what’s happening when you’re looking for your reflection in unintentionally chosen people.  These can be people who are naturally around in your life, like your sister or your friend who has been around for ages or that inspirational boss.  I’m not saying they’re not amazing.  They totally could be.  And they might not be reflecting the true you.

We talked about mindset last week.  I hope through examination you started identifying that like most career girls, yours is a growth mindset. Are you spending time with people who are in the fixed mindset? As you’re talking about your risks, learning and your great revolutionizing ideas, what people in the fixed mindset are reflecting is usually fear.  Have you been talking about your fitness goals with people who are really struggling with their own level of fitness?  Again what they might be reflecting is fear.

Be mindful.  Choose your relationships intentionally.  Choose your conversations intentionally.  As you begin to do this, you start to see yourself clearly.  Instead of seeing someone else’s fear in your reflection and making it yours, you begin to see your own fear.  Can you feel the difference? It’s so different.  It feels distinctly different.  You can be with your fear.  You can take action with your fear.

You start to see yourself in people who are self-aware.  You start to see yourself in people who take action. You start to see yourself in people who exude kindness and act with kindness.

Who are you spending time with this week? Choose wisely.

The post Who Are You Spending Time With This Week? appeared first on Career Girl Network.

How many times have you asked your mom what she wants for her birthday, Mother’s Day or Christmas?  And how many times has she insisted that she doesn’t want anything – or that a card would be just fine?  Of course, retailers would have us believe something entirely different.  We are taught that flowers, candy, bracelets, and matching sweater sets are necessary to show mom how much we love her.  While all of that is nice, sometimes the best gifts we can give our mothers are both priceless and intangible.

Love Her!

First and most obvious: Love yo’ mama – Absolutely, unconditionally, and with compassion and understanding – just like she has loved you for your entire life.  

Be Generous With Your Time

The older we get, the more we have competing for our time – school, career, friendships, relationships.  Life has a way of getting so busy that you likely spend very little time with your mother, even if you still live relatively close by.  One of the best gifts you can give your mother is time with you.  For some, it can take a little work to transition from a child/parent to an adult daughter/mother relationship, but it is absolutely worth the work and one of the best gifts you can give both yourself and her.

Think about it like this.  Your mother spent so many years raising you to become the best version of you possible – what could be more rewarding (for both sides!) than an adult friendship with that person, the “fruit of her labor” so to speak.  Make sure that you enjoy each other’s company regularly.  Make new memories!  It doesn’t have to be grand or expensive.  Many times, it is the small things, like laughing hysterically over coffee, that you will remember forever.

Appreciate Everything, Big & Small

Mothers have done, and continue to do so much for us and it is important that we don’t take it for granted.  Take time to reminisce with Mom about all the things – tiny and large – that you remember she did for you as a child.  Beyond the obvious, think about the sacrifices she made so that you could have a better life.  Make sure she knows that you realize it and appreciate everything she’s done for you.

Listen to Her!

Mothers are known for giving lots of advice – both solicited and unsolicited (ha!).  Usually what we perceive as nagging comes from a loving and unselfish place, and the desire to see us happy.  My own mom has told me that,

As a mother there is this need to tell your daughter everything you know, so that even if she isn’t listening now, she has that mental book of advice to look back on later.

What that tells me is that even if we don’t take her advice right away (or ever), Mom just wants to know she’s been heard.  That alone gives her great comfort.  And although it may be hard to see now, when the day comes that our mother isn’t around to nag us, remembering her anecdotes and words of wisdom will bring us more comfort than we could ever imagine.

I am not a mother myself, so please chime in and let me know what else you think mothers really want (besides iphones, fancy kitchenware, or more framed photos of their kids!).

Happy Mother’s Day to all Career Girl Moms and their mothers, and of course to my very own mama – I love you so much!!!

The post What Mom Really Wants appeared first on Career Girl Network.

You might notice we’re talking a lot about moms this week on Career Girl, naturally because it’s Mother’s Day today. Today, we’re paying tribute not just to all the moms in the world, but to the moms of the women who read our site. Why? Because your mom, Career Girls, is often one of the most important forces in your life, and therefore one of the most important forces in your career. Perhaps you’re a veterinarian and she bought you your first cat. Maybe you’re a lawyer who followed in your attorney mom’s footsteps. Perhaps you’re a teacher whose mom was a principal and you just can’t wait to be exactly like her.

Whatever career or path you’ve chosen in your life, your mom is usually one of the key people who got you there. Here are a few ways we recommend you might than your mom today:

• Harness what you’re most proud of. Think about that thing in your life or your career you’re most proud of, and tell your mom how it wouldn’t have been possible without her. For me, finishing my book is the most proud I’ve ever been of anything in my career, and I realize that without her support, I would never have had the courage to leave my full time job and pursue my dreams.
• Find a photo that you admire of her. We recommended in our last minute Mother’s Day gifts buying your mom a framed photo of the two of you. If you don’t have time for that, seek out your favorite photo of your mom, one that inspired you. My mom started her career working on a missile base in North Dakota. There’s an old photo of her sitting at her big desk outside the colonel’s office. I remember that photo as something that gave me drive in my career. I always wanted to sit behind a big desk in an important office like my mom.
• Remember a time you struggled to get through. Tell your mom about it. Perhaps it was a tough semester in college, or a divorce or loss of a family member. Did your mom stand by  you and make you better through it? Tell her.

The overarching belief here? That your mom and your career, your opportunities, and the foundation of your skill set, are closely intertwined. Take time today to thank your mom for the good things she’s given you that make you a great Career Girl!

The post Your Mother, Your Career: The Connection appeared first on Career Girl Network.

Let’s face it, Career Girls, it’s Saturday. And no matter how much you love your mom, you may have forgotten to grab that Mother’s Day gift for tomorrow. Of course, you’ll pick up a card, but take these ideas for some last-minute knock ‘em dead gifts.

• Tickets!
  They don’t require any wrapping, and are deliverable last minute even if you live far away. Perhaps you’re buying her plane tickets to come visit you, or tickets to a local theater production or concert. Setting a date with your mom, though, is always a great gift.
• iTunes and Spotify
  Low budget, admittedly, but blow past the idea of a mix-tape for mom, and make her a list of songs that remind you of her. Include songs from your childhood, songs you know she loves, and more. Pair it with an iTunes gift card if she’ll be downloading, and you’re all set.
• Photos
  There’s nothing moms love more than pictures of their kids and grandkids. Run to your local Target, grab a great photo frame, and insert a photo of you and your mom, your mom and your kids, or another sentimental photo, and wrap it up. Easy, right?
• Wine
  If you’re mom loves fine wines, sign her up for a fun subscription to somewhere like Naked Wines. They’re an easy-to-use service with a fun background for each of the winemakers that makes you feel both invested in winemaking and loving the wines!
• Donate
  If your mom is a philanthropist, take the time to give the gift of honoring her by giving to an organization she cares about.

Good luck, Career Girls! Enjoy your Mother’s Day and honor your moms.

The post Your Guide to Last-Minute Mother’s Day Gifts appeared first on Career Girl Network.

ABOUT PEG:

Peg Rowe is Managing Partner of Tiara International. Through her business experience, she brings knowledge, wisdom and unique perspectives on building high performance teams, creating a collaborative culture, developing leaders and delivering exceptional results. She works seamlessly with all levels of management, across groups or in one-on-one settings.

ABOUT COURTNEY:

Courtney Rowe is the Development Coordinator for Girls in the Game and is in the process of completing her Masters Degree in Leadership and Policy Studies from DePaul University and holds a Bachelor of Arts in International Affairs from the University of Colorado, Boulder. She is passionate about the empowerment and protection of women and girls at the international, national and local levels.

The post Virtual Girls’ Night Out: Mother/Daughter Powerhouse Peg and Courtney Rowe appeared first on Career Girl Network.

This Mother’s Day, I have a story for you. It has an apology, and a big twist. So stay tuned.

I’m a freelance writer.

When I was growing up, my mother was also a freelance writer.

She attempted the impossible: being a full-time stay-at-home-mom AND a full-time work-from-home writer. Looking back, I am in awe of how she balanced those two roles. Especially since I didn’t make it easy for her.

I have distinct memories of being about five years old, deliberately waiting until she appeared to be very busy with work, and choosing that specific moment to demand attention. This was not a rare incident, and it was not entirely limited to the age of five.

Not only did I fail to understand what she was trying to do, but I actively thwarted it and vocally resented it.

My mother visited me in Los Angeles when I was there for graduate school several years ago, and we randomly decided to knock on the door of one of her clients from that era. They hadn’t seen each other since the late 1980s.

The client felt compelled to apologize to me because she recalled how much I deeply (and, apparently, loudly) hated her, simply for providing my mother with employment.

I’m cringing at the memory. I’m cringing at all of it.

I know, I know — I was just a kid, and generally a good one (I was a straight-A goody-two-shoes who was thoughtful enough to reserve my dramatic narcissism for my parents and brother), but I can’t fathom putting up with a bratty little snot factory while I try to meet deadlines.

Here’s the twist: I’m pregnant.

I’ve spent a long time making a name for myself as baby-averse (probably in no small part due to my recollection of my own obnoxious behavior). See my previous post on this topic for context. For personal reasons that fall outside the scope of this column, my husband and I did a “180″ and decided to have a family of our own.

I’m due in October. I’m struggling with when to tell prospective clients and how I’m going to handle constructing my own maternity leave.

I completely respect and admire full-time stay-at-home-moms, but for me, the best choice is to keep my job. I love my job. And I already love this baby.

Even though I work from home, I’m looking into childcare. I don’t know yet if we can justify it financially, but I do know that I am not as patient as my mother. I’d like to think that I could simultaneously be an awesome mom and and awesome writer like she was, but I think I might end up failing at both. Especially if this kid is anything like me.

So this is my overdue and woefully insufficient apology to my wonderful, patient, talented, sweet, ambitious, loving mother.

I’m sorry for 1987 – 1990. And probably a decent chunk on either side of that. And I should probably add 1994-1998, but I’ll blame that phase on general pre-teen/early-teen angst.

Mom, I hope my kid is better at showing patience and gratitude than I was. And if he or she is not, you reserve every right to [secretly] enjoy the karmic retribution. Hughuglovelove, Mom. Happy Mother’s Day.

The post Sorry About That, Mom appeared first on Career Girl Network.