She’s one of my favorite experts, and her new concept literally blew my mind! Gretchen Rubin from “The Happiness Project” is talking about what she calls “decoy habits,” and boy oh boy do we know there are a lot of women out there who need to hear this!

What is a Decoy Habit?

Gretchen Rubin says on her website:

A decoy habit is a habit that a person claims to want to adopt—but really doesn’t intend to do. Often, decoy habits reflect other people’s values or priorities. “I want to cook dinner every night.” “I want to finish my Ph.D. thesis by the end of the year.” “I want to give up coffee.” The decoy provides cover—we don’t have to acknowledge the habits that we actually follow, because there’s this other, better habit that we intend to adopt.

Traditional Decoy Habits You Might Be Doing

There are definitely some “traditional” decoy habits many of us are guilty of. Try some of these on for size:

• Health & Fitness
  If you’ve ever said, “I’ll start on Monday,” you’ve got yourself a decoy habit! The same goes for anyone who has ever written out a “Couch to 5K” or a half marathon training plan but never actually strapped on the shoes and taken that first run. Perhaps you tell your spouse, “I’m going to start meal planning so we’re taking our lunches and eating better.” You’re talking about it, but you aren’t doing it. That’s a decoy.
• Job Searching
  Especially if you’re in a job you hate, chances are you’ve threatened to leave at some point. “I swear, I’m going to quit” might have come out of your mouth or, “I’m going to spend this weekend applying for jobs.” When you say things like this, you create decoys that set you up for failure. You’re setting a decoy habit and therefore never getting through your decoy goal to your real one.
• Relationships
  Perhaps it’s a bad relationship with a parent or sibling. You say something like, “The next time s/he says X to me, I’m going to finally say something.” Or you say, “I’m going to make more of an effort to create a better relationship.” Where is the action? Hidden in the decoy.

Gretchen is still developing her language around decoy habits, and so are we. But it’s so worth considering in your own life. Are you missing out on actually achieving goals and creating great habits because you’re filling your life with decoys? Ask the hard questions, and you might just find it’s time to get rid of the decoy and play in reality!

The post Are You Being Sabotaged with “Decoy Habits”? appeared first on Career Girl Network.

We all have them – the kind of days where you get out of bed and you just know it’s going to be a bad day. You’re not alone. Bad days plague us all. But just because you’re having a bad day doesn’t mean all is lost until you go to bed tonight. You can salvage a bad day. In fact, productivity expert Jason Womack says your bad day can be “rescued” pretty easily.

Here are two of my favorites of Jason’s tips in “5 Steps to Rescue Your Productivity When Days Go Bad.“

Keep quick tasks close at hand.
When time opens up in your schedule, like your lunch appointment not showing up, you suddenly have time to handle other opportunities if you’re prepared. For example, I carry notecards, envelopes and stamps in my bag. When I find “lost time” in short unexpected moments throughout my busy day, this allows me to write a few thank you notes, birthday cards and other hand-written messages to clients, staff and others in my network. Getting something done in place of what fell through keeps me feeling productive and the unexpected gesture makes me stand out from the masses.

Use cancellations as time to think about the big picture.
What’s the first thing you do when you’re notified that a meeting has been canceled? Check email or go for coffee, right? Most people go back to what they were working on. What if you didn’t? Instead of chipping away at your never-ending mountain of emails, take that one-hour time slot that you were scheduled to be away from your desk to actually move a big, long term project forward. When was the last time you had a fully uninterrupted hour to think? Now is your time to make significant progress on something big.

It’s similar to the “15 minute block” notion we talked about recently. What can you do with an extra 15 minutes? Can you have tasks on hand? Or can you take time to strategize? Either way, doing so can immediately rescue a bad day and make it a productive one.

The post Rescue Your Bad Day with Productivity appeared first on Career Girl Network.

I wanted to become a certified personal trainer to help me break into the active lifestyle industry, so I signed up for courses and material to get certified last fall. It went well around the holidays and then I realized that I have no time in my normal schedule to do anything extra. I beat myself up about it for about four months, and stressed about the time I was not spending on the commitment. After a hard talk with myself, I realized that I had to quit.

Junctures like this are always terrible and make me feel like a failure, but it’s bound to happen to busy Career Girls and there’s no reason to feel awful forever. It’s okay to stop holding on if it’s making you miserable. Here are five steps for knowing when it’s time to give up, and what to do next.

• You’ve been overwhelmed and there’s no end in sight. Sometimes we’re involved in activities that have an end, so we put up with the stress because they’re temporary. Are you stressed because of something temporary, or do you have an unmanageable permanent work load? If you just need a day off or vacation, schedule that time for yourself. But if you realize it’s constant and not sustainable, then it’s time to decide what to give up.
• You’ve already started giving up, but you won’t let go. When I knew I didn’t have nearly enough time to read an epic per week, I kept going to my world literature class for weeks. Why? I thought maybe something would change, and I felt really guilty about giving up. Nothing changed, and I missed out on getting a partial refund because I waited too long. If you know you need to throw in the towel and there’s no way to save it, make the decision to end it today. You don’t need to hang on longer to sufficiently punish yourself.

Once you’ve decided that it’s time, take a deep breath and remember that you’re not a failure. You’ve probably done far more than someone else could have done, and no one is going to hate you forever. Now, how do you let go?

• Say it out loud. Once I said I wasn’t going to finish my certification, it was a huge weight off my shoulders because I was finally being honest about it and didn’t have to feel guilty any more. I knew it was the end because I said it out loud.
• Talk to someone. Invite some Career Girls out for a drink and tell them that you feel crappy about having to quit something you thought you could do. Everyone can sympathize with that, and you’ll feel a lot better getting it off your chest (and having a drink).
• Get it over with and move on. There’s no point in waiting. You need to move on to things that are more important. Inform the people that need to know. Tell them clearly that you’ve been trying to make it work, but you’re not able to do a good job and you’re not happy, so you’re done. People are surprisingly understanding when the reason is simply, “I’m not happy.” Don’t try to draw it out. Own it, end it, and walk away.

If you can make things work by asking for help, coming up with a new arrangement, or better organizing your time, then you don’t have to give up. Your friends, family, or co-workers might be able to take some pressure off of you if you ask for help. It’s hard and we all want to be a super-person, but remember that people like to help. Weigh your options, be honest with yourself and others, and look at your priorities. Don’t feel like a failure if you have to give something up to keep your energy going toward the other parts of your life that really deserve your attention (and to keep from going bananas).

The post Get Better at Giving Up appeared first on Career Girl Network.

I don’t know about you, Career Girls, but when I’m planning a vacation, I’m less concerned about the destination itself, and more concerned with two very specific things: the experience I’ll have there, and what it’s going to cost me. Last fall, when our family simply couldn’t decide between Portugal and Spain, we were informed by price more than anything. The same went for my husband and I planning our honeymoon. Sure, we ended up sweating like crazy during summer in New Orleans, but it was quiet and serene and inexpensive as well.

Now, there’s a website that will make those “either or” decisions even easier….GetGoing.com. Here are illustrations of GetGoing.com’s two main services:

• Flight Finder allows you to select a region and search for the cheapest flights in it. Want to go to Europe on the cheap and don’t care where, this is the right service for you.
• Pick Two, Get One lets you choose two destinations and go with the one that ends up being cheaper. GetGoing.com is able to get even better prices based on this algorithm. It’s genius.

So if you’re feeling a little adventurous in your travel planning, check out GetGoing.com and spin the wheel!

The post Get Going with the Coolest New Travel Site: Get Going! appeared first on Career Girl Network.

The weekend is often portrayed as super fun. We can go to parties, find patios of spring/summertime bliss, catch up with those long lost partners/boyfriends/girlfriends we haven’t seen the whole week and hang out with all of our amazing friends.  But for some people, weekends do not always feel “super fun” but instead can be “triggery”, sometimes really lonely and can be challenging.  Are you on the “triggery” side? Let me help you make your weekend better.

First, let’s define what I mean by triggery:

• Workout Trigger: I didn’t get to them all week so I totally shame myself about it and tell myself I have to workout for X amount of hours this weekend to make up for it.  Or I am so exhausted I park it on the couch for the weekend and make myself feel awful about it.
• Diet Trigger: I eat really clean during the week and pretty regimented and on the weekend I no longer have a schedule, there are way more less healthy food choices and I have a lot of time on my hands.
• Dating Trigger: I make great decision about dating, I feel confident during the week. On the weekend I’m stalking my new boyfriend’s ex girlfriend on Facebook or I am checking my phone every 2.3 seconds to see if they texted me or not.

Lonely Weekend?:

• I’m single and all of my friends are married with children.
• My partner is out of town and I usually spend that time catching up with him.
• I got to the weekend and forgot to plan anything because I was so busy this week.

Challenging Weekend?:

• See above.
• I struggle to balance work/life so I want to be present but the push notifications on my email wont stop.
• I work really hard at being busy during the week so I don’t have to look at X problem I’m not yet ready to deal with and when the weekend comes, it hits, hard.

Most Important……

Solution to a Better Weekend:

• Take time (I know, you’re busy) to write down your ideal weekend. What does it include? My must-have-weekend-moments for the over functioning introvert include a lot of down time including cooking meals at home, a fav yoga class, meditation and getting outside as much as possible.  For you it might totally be about the people, energy of your city and mega adventures.
• Whatever it is, try to accomplish as many off of your ideal weekend list, every weekend.
• Create structure.  If you’re eating breakfast 5 days a week at 7am waiting until 11:30 when everyone decides to go to brunch is really throwing your body and mind for a loop.  Meet friends for brunch and grab something to nibble on for a snack because you ate breakfast when you got up just like you normally do.
• I Totally get the “I’m so tired I can’t see straight” type of weekend.  Force yourself to get some exercise even if that’s sun salutation B once every day or a 5 minute walk around the block.  You’ll feel so much better.

If you find that your weekends are not what you want them to be try some of these solutions. And don’t expect too much out of every weekend. That is why they happen every 5 days!

The post Happy Weekend? appeared first on Career Girl Network.

You are busy. There’s much to do in this one, precious life! And it’s important to keep yourself in a productive, happy frame of mind.

We all have those times when we don’t feel that great inside. Although inevitable, it is not fun to be overwhelmed, irritable, grouchy, moody, or just in a funk.

Here’s the thing: LIVING from this funky place is living half-ass.

That may sound harsh, but it’s the truth. Here’s why…

When you feel bad on the inside, you don’t draw goodness into your experience. As a matter of fact, you strangle that flow.

Also, the decisions you make from this place are very reactive. You automatically react to what’s happening around you. This is the painful way of living from the outside-in vs. the fulfilling way of living from the inside-out.

So, if you’re strangling your flow of goodness and living from the outside-in…you’re living life half-ass.

It’s not that you should never feel negative. We are human and that’s a part of being human. However, acknowledging the “ick” feeling and making an internal shift is living consciously. And consciously living life allows you to live life to the fullest!

It is impossible to live reactively/unconsciously AND live life to the fullest. (Read that sentence again if you need to.)

The key to feeling better in these funky times is to reboot your mind.

Give yourself some space to think. Go for a walk or take some time to just breathe. During this time, ask yourself the following perspective-shifting questions to flip your focus and clean up your thinking.

1. “If this were my last hour on earth, would I be happy with how I’ve spent my time today, this week, or this year?”

2. “If this were my last hour on earth, would I feel good about the priorities I’m focused on at this point in my life?”

3. “If this were my last hour on earth, would I feel complete and at peace with the people who matter most?”

Rebooting your mind with these questions is a simple way to get in touch with what’s real. This exercise allows you to get out of your head and reconnect with what matters most to your heart.

Stepping away from the nonstop action of life to acknowledge what’s real gives you a chance to adjust your priorities. It may simply help you look at things from a healthier perspective, or it may motivate you to take some kind of productive action. For example, maybe you’ll decide to call someone with whom you have unresolved issues and make peace once and for all. Or maybe you’ll decide to stop pushing yourself to do something that your heart just doesn’t want to do.

Once you go through the three questions above, it’s important to think about what you need to do differently to realign your actions with your head and your heart. Here are some follow-up questions to give you some direction moving forward:

• “What change do I need to make to feel happier and more alive?”
• “What issue do I need to address that I keep avoiding?”
• “What do I need to let go of — completely?”
• “Who do I need to reconnect with?”

Try it this week. Take a walk, go for a drive, sit outside for a while, or light a candle and sit down and just breathe. Let what’s real — and the fact that life is so precious — inspire you to live true and clear.

The more you practice this awareness in life, the less negativity you’ll feel.

Live your life with thoughtful purpose! In the end, you’ll be so glad you did.

The post 3 Questions To Reboot Your Mind For A Productive Life Of Meaning appeared first on Career Girl Network.

The good news is, there are solutions to your problem! You can charge on the go without ducking underneath a table in a random Starbucks looking for a plug-in. Try these awesome solutions to your power problem.

Everpurse

I’m partial to this company because they’re from Chicago and launched out of the same place we did, 1871. Carry one of these stylish pouches with you and just drop your phone in to charge. Here’s what Everpurse says about their product:

Everpurse has a special charging pocket into which you place your smartphone. Our patent-pending docking system guides your phone smoothly onto a dock connector at the bottom—so you don’t have to fish for a cord!

Click here to choose your Everpurse and order one today.

Urban Junket Power Trips

I’ve been a fan of Urban Junket for YEARS since my friend Tracey Dyer started the company in 2008. Their new Power Trip bags give you the option to charge your bag to charge all of your mobile devices for up to 10 days! Here’s what UJ says about their product:

Let’s start by saying, “THIS IS EASY!” No help from your computer-building uncle will be necessary. There are only two connections and they only connect one way. The cords are obvious and the T1 Battery Pack auto senses power demand, therefore there is no need for buttons or switches.

Not only are UJ bags functional, they’re stylish and environmentally friendly made with recycled materials. Click here to order one now.

HALO Portable Power

If you’re looking for a lower cost solution to your charging problems, try to HALO Starlight 2800. It can charge a phone or iPod up to 1.5 times, so it definitely doesn’t pack the punch of Everpurse or UJ in terms of length of time it can stay charged and the number of times it can charge something else.

Click here to grab your HALO on QVC for just over $30.

The post Charged: Stop Running Out of Battery With These Solutions appeared first on Career Girl Network.

To get you geared up for your best Monday ever, we’re giving you another blast from the past with writer Melissa Foster.

How you start your day is how you’re going to live your day. And how you live your day is the way you live your life.” – Louise Hay

Being deliberate about how you spend your time in the morning is an essential element of leading a fulfilling life. It sets the tone for your day and preps you to handle things in a manner that is consistent with who you are at your core.

Here are a few tips to help you start your day off right:

1) Create A Ritual

Being delivered into your day via a ritualistic routine can help ground and center you.

No one is their best when they slam into their day. You want to ease into it in a way that allows you to wake up at a pace that’s best for you. Do this by creating a routine that has meaning for you. There are no rules here, so think outside of the box.

To help get you thinking, here are example rituals that a few of my clients love. When their eyes open, they immediately:

• Get a cup of coffee, light a candle and sit down with gratitude journal.
• Sit with a cup of tea and beloved pet in lap to wake up.
• Morning walk and prayer/meditation.
• Morning run to inspiring music

Make up a routine that you love and treat it as sacred.

2) Keep A Gratitude Journal

Keeping a gratitude journal is a sweet practice that keeps your mind’s eye on what’s working in your life. There is much to be grateful for that we don’t always stop and acknowledge! Much is missed when we get caught up in the day-to-day busyness of life. Keeping a gratitude journal helps prevent this “unconsciousness” that is so easily slipped into.

How to start and keep a gratitude journal going:

Every morning in a notepad (paper or digital), write down five new things you’re grateful for. Make sure to also write down WHY you are grateful for each thing.

(There’s been research done to show the effectiveness of a gratitude practice in contributing to overall happiness! One of my favorite researchers on the topic is Dr. Shawn Achor. You can get your hands on his most excellent book here.)

3) Don’t Touch Technology

Until you’ve had your special space in the morning, DO NOT check your phone, email, etc. This puts you into a reactive mode (which is the opposite of a productive mode).

Just because the world is reaching for you does not mean you’ve got to respond right then.

You are not a slave to the world. So don’t act like one.

4) Look Ahead At Your Day

At the end of your personal morning space, think about the day ahead of you. See what is on your schedule. Think about your top priorities for the day and how you can fit in time to make sure those get the attention they need. It’s good to know what you’ve got ahead of you so that you are mentally prepped for the kind of day you have.

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Use these tips to create a short space of time each morning and you’ll be set up to attack your day, instead of it attacking you.

The post Create a Better Monday Morning Routine appeared first on Career Girl Network.

With it, we feel a rhythm that is pleasing to the soul.

And with it, our life isn’t filled with procrastination, distraction, overwhelm, missed deadlines, etc. Things just come together well.

Without it, well…we’re pretty much hot messes.

Here are 5 basic tips to get and stay in a productive groove on a daily basis:

1) Practice a morning mini-routine

Spend 2-5 minutes EVERY morning to decide what tasks are priority that day – and map out when you’re going to work on what. (Actually plug time blocks into your calendar!)

Set your day up right with this simple tip because just slamming into your day is a guaranteed way to waste time and create disappointment/frustration for yourself.

2) Take the emotion out of work

Set your emotions to the side. It’s time to put your head down and go.

If attention is given to your emotions, productivity will go out the window. There is a time and place to give attention to your emotions, but it isn’t during work.

3) Set a timer

Each time you sit down to work on a project or through a list of tasks, set a timer. This will help keep you focused and on track.

Setting a timer allows you to become hyper-focused. You don’t have to keep an eye the clock (to ensure you aren’t late for your next scheduled thing). You can totally sink in the the task at hand and be pulled out of your “zone” when you’re timer goes off.

4) Prevent distractions

Before you’ve set a timer to work deeply on something, make sure to shut down any dings, rings, or pings that could divert your attention.

After your timer goes off, THEN you can check to see what you’ve missed! Until then – forget it!

5) Flex your gratitude muscle

At least once a day, devote 5 minutes to experiencing gratitude. Not just thinking it, but let it wash over you. FEELING it is what matters.

A great time to do this is at night. Pull out a tablet (paper or digital) and reflect on the day. List out everything you’re grateful for and WHY. The “why” is what helps gratitude hit on a deeper-feeling level.

This habit will keep your perspective positive, allowing you to stay in a good flow.

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As you implement this stuff into your days, you’ll begin to notice an undercurrent of flow in your life and a boost in your productivity. And who doesn’t want that?!

The post 5 Tips to Get Your Productivity Groove Back appeared first on Career Girl Network.

Attending a conference can be a phenomenally important experience in your career. Whether you’re learning new skills to use each day at your desk or networking with important people in your field, whether it’s a single day event or a multiple day conference, you’re going to have the opportunity at a good professional conference to create new relationships and build new skills. Sounds great, right? No downside? Wrong. The inevitable downside of attending a conference is the time it takes away from the work and the projects that need your attention in the office.

And while we can all agree a professional conference or event is key to your success, is it even possible to do so without adding stress to your job? Yes!

Here’s how you can stay productive and on top of your work even while attending a multi-day conference.

• If you’re going to skip something, skip breakfast. There are always those people at a conference who never network or talk to others between sessions because they’re checking their email or making calls back to the office. These people are not getting the most of their time or their money. If you must skip some networking time, skip breakfast. Most people will eat with those they already know when they have the opportunity to choose seats. Couple that with the fact that most people are still tired means it’s the time of day you’re least likely to make good connections.
• Set an out of office reply. Oddly, we feel comfortable setting an out of office reply when we’re on personal vacation or take a sick day, but we have the strange notion that when we’re at a “work event,” we should still be at work. Wrong! Let people know you’re out of the office and set expectations of your response realistically.
• Take time to brainstorm with other attendees. Chances are, you’re working on at least one project at work that has you stumped. Maybe you can’t figure out your marketing pitch on a product, perhaps you aren’t sure which great candidate you interviewed last week to hire this week. Instead of talking to the person sitting next to you at lunch about the weather, ask for their input. Brainstorming with new acquaintances can be incredibly powerful. They have no stake in your decision making and can be objective in a way you cannot. Suddenly, you may find that while you’re networking, you’re also moving the strategic needle forward at the office.
• Focus on “clearing” email, not checking email. I get it, ladies, you’re all going to check your email on your phone at the conference. That’s entirely fine. But instead of focusing on checking your email, just focus on deleting. It’s a lot easier to get through 20 substantive emails that need your eyes when you return than 120 where 100 of them don’t need your attention. When you check your email, focus on discarding and deleting rather than responding.

Don’t avoid a conference because of the work you have in the office. Your career and your skills and network development are just as important as the stack of papers on your desk. Limit stress from the conference, but don’t skip it all together.

The post Staying “On Top of It” During a Conference appeared first on Career Girl Network.