In last week’s post Chaos to Order, Part Three, I imploded in a sad and pathetic way over my self-imposed mission of carrying-on my damn luggage. I suppose one might refer to this event as my “bottom hitting” because this week after I checked my bag AGAIN, something snapped inside me. Monday I skulked through the United terminal contemplating my next steps.
Seriously? I thought to myself. If you’re going to implode over parting with a few of your beauty products for three days, than what happens when you face the usual holiday stress?
You know the kind — a massive insurance screw-up, which possibly leaves me with an $8,400 balance. Will you be paying cash or charge for that? Then there is the little hiccup with my 2009 tax return. Evidently the IRS believes I owe them $12,000-ish, however my CPA assures me it’s an error. (On whose part, is still rather unclear.) And, of course, I am gaining weight as I write this, which adds to the joy of the frigging holiday season. Plus, I’ve done absolutely no holiday shopping yet. (I’ve been too worried about my luggage debacle to consider the rest of my life-stressors.)
But, I digress.
This past Tuesday evening as the clock ticked down to my last flight of the year, I decided to fight it out with my shit. I stood in my hotel bathroom armed with a fresh diet-Pepsi and a new piece of Trident Layer Green Apple gum and went through one more iteration of edits until I stared at my beauty must-haves. In comparison to the rest of my issues, flat hair seemed the least of my concerns.
I packed up the balance of the offending beauty items and deposited them in a forlorn looking Dollar Tree bag. The next morning, I placed the bag in a drawer at my client site where I plan to leave it there for pick-up upon my next arrival on January 7th, 2013.
I realize I cheated, but I simply cannot endure the stress any longer. Frankly, I wish I thought of this semi-solution earlier because CLEARLY my life is a natural disaster in so many other ways. I need to turn my attention to bigger fish!
In the meantime, I sit here at the airport waiting for my delayed flight with the knowledge that when I get home, I can pull my natty black and white luggage through O’Hare, and NOT STOP AT BAGGAGE CLAIM! Yes, ladies, I did it!!! I carried-on and on and on Thursday, December 20, 2012!
For the first time in decades, I will zip off the flight and head to a cab, so I can enjoy the holiday season with my neglected beau, my insurance bills, and the IRS.
It’s the perfect American holiday!