Three weeks ago, I started a tough-love beauty detox program with the goal of whittling down my beauty stash, so I could carry-on my luggage like a big girl. Indeed, even after years of travel I’m the idiot at O’Hare airport who stands outside at 6:30 a.m. on a Monday morning to check her bag…with all the other amateur packers. Plus, I not only happily pay the appalling $25 fee, but I also tip the skycap!
For the past three weeks, I cut, pruned, and edited my beauty products down to the bare-bones, and my elusive goal continues to mock me. I take away two items, only to add two others back someplace else. How do women do this everyday? I stare with envy at stylish women in the airport as they glide to their flight with a smart handbag and one natty roller bag. I’m losing it, people.
I WANT TO SCREAM AT THEM — How do you fit all your shit in one bag? WHERE IS YOUR LAPTOP? WHAT ABOUT YOUR POWER CORDS? And, how about your skincare, makeup, clothes, shoes and workout gear? Do you wear contact lens? Because I do, and I need three separate solutions for them!
Reinvigorated by these fearless women, I stood dangerously close to carrying on my bag this week. But I panicked at the last moment.
I’ve accepted the cold hard facts about the beauty sacrifices I need to make, but I imploded when I realized if I was to carry on my luggage, I needed to consolidate the two bags I currently carry on (my handbag and tote) into one.
ALL my stuff must fit in two bags because O’Hare retains a TSA employee who lurks about United Airlines security entrance with the sole intention of making you consolidate your three bags into two. She relishes this duty and takes her two-bag hall monitor role very seriously. She’s a real charmer, especially at 6:30 a.m. on a Monday morning.
ANYWAY – the consolidation of my handbag/ tote tripped my ‘Danger Will Robinson’ wire and I crumbed like a powder blush after it’s been dropped on the floor. This consolidation opened a whole new can of worms because along with my beauty addiction, I also struggle with an accessories habit (to a lesser extent).
I pride myself on coordinating my accessories to the nth degree. I actually think about how my tote, handbag, luggage and coat work together. I like my individual pieces to harmonize, and not in a queer matchy-match way, but I like them to coordinate in an effortless sort of way – as if I just happened to throw these things together without thought, which of course, is not true, but that’s another post!
Needless to say, I attempted to consolidate my handbag and tote into my fabulous new red Hunter bag and failed. It clashed with my pumpkin-colored coat. I tried a handful of my black totes, but they lacked the functionality I needed for travel. I even attempted to find something suitable over the weekend, but time ran out and there I stood on the eve of my travel utterly overwhelmed and confounded. I literally ran out of time. My alarm goes off obscenely early on a Monday morning and I needed to sleep. I felt like a complete ass.
I consoled myself with the idea that one more week remains for me to figure this mess out.
Keep the faith. I’m not giving up.