Doubt Our Doubts

Posted September 9, 2013 by Monica O'Connell in Building Your Brand

Who told us that we couldn’t?

Who said that you weren’t enough?

Who decided you weren’t important? That what you want to do isn’t exactly right?

Sometimes it’s our past.  Sometimes it’s our blessed, dear loving well wishers in our lives.  The ones who want to give us a warning, to help us make the best, most informed decision.

The ones who want us to know ALL of the information before we do something, before we choose something, before we make our moves.

Sometimes we hear those messages from people who are living small lives.  The ones who are motivated by fear and doubt.  The ones who wouldn’t take a risk because it’s too scary for them.  The ones who feel safer if we aren’t showing up as bright.

Do you know who I mean?

And for many, it’s so unintentional.  They don’t mean to be sending that message.  It just comes from their own insecurities, their own wanting more but not knowing how, their own sqaushed dreams.  And they just don’t want you to get hurt.

Some people really do mean to be sending that message of not enoughness, of not okayness. Those are probably the ones to run from.

So what if for this minute or for today we try this on:

Today we doubt our doubts.

We become invested in questing our questions.

  • How does it serve me to believe in my own not enoughness?
  • When did I decide to see myself that way?
  • Why can’t I?
  • What REALLY stands in my way? Is it as big as it seems? Is it as big as someone told me it might be?
  • The place in my mind that says I can’t, is it really true? What would happen if I tried it?

As I doubt my doubts, I make room for this major possibility, in fact high probability, that I will make mistakes. And they might be major mistakes.

  • But does that mean that I’m not okay?
  • Does it mean that I’m not enough?

As I doubt my doubts, I move into the space where mistakes create growth.

This is where I stand strong in my vulnerability, in my not knowing. To paraphrase Brene Brown, I’m standing in the birthplace of connection.  In the major place of creativity.

And that’s exactly what helps me create the life I want.

About the Author

Monica O'Connell

Monica O’Connell is a Licensed Marriage and Family therapist in Minneapolis, Minnesota. In her practice, she spends her career cheering on “Career Girls” as they learn how to get the most out of life. Monica works with arguably some of the most successful, intelligent, inspiring women in the Twin Cities who tackle self-discovery, career success, and what’s getting in the way of their true desires. She shares her favorite moments as those “best described not by words but by the stomach aching, face soreness that comes from spending an entire day laughing with loved ones.”