After having the same job for 5 years, I realized I wanted out. The direction I thought I was moving in was coming to a grinding halt because of external circumstances and I noticed that I just didn’t like myself all that much anymore. The burden of the overly demanding work schedule with little to no balance in favor of my personal life was beginning to wear on me in such a way that I wasn’t happy anymore…and it was evident. I needed out.

I left to start a career in something completely new. Left that, started something else, got laid off three months later. Last year was a year of interviews, and I was constantly being asked what I wanted to do. The problem was that I didn’t know.

Being unemployed and subsequently desperate taught me something extremely important in the way of learning about yourself: saying no to new opportunities can close yourself off to finding your true and undiscovered passions in life.

I’d always been fascinated with people who decided to say “yes” to every opportunity that came their way. I’d read Maria Dahvana Headley’s book “The Year of Yes” and had fallen in love with the idea but never thought I would have the fortitude to do something similar. It wasn’t until very recently that I realized I’ve been inadvertently doing that very thing pretty consistently since I’d lost my job.

I’ve been saying “yes” to so many things since last year:

Danielle, do you want to come sell for my start-up? Do you want to help me found a start-up? Have you ever thought about trying social media management? What about copywriting? I think you should host trivia nights for my company. I would love it if you could volunteer with our organization. You should start your own business. So, what about starting a networking group? Can I take you on a date?

Each one of these experiences has taught me something I didn’t previously know about myself–all of them have come together in an amalgamation that has shown me what I want to do and who I want to be as I grow up. Patricia Volk has this to say about her own “year of yes”:

“There isn’t one thing I said yes to I’m sorry I said yes to. And look what I would have missed. “No” means safety and the numbing stasis that implies. I’m changed.”

Tina Fey also weighs in:

“There are limits of reason to this idea of saying yes to everything, but when I meet someone whose first instinct is “No, how can we do that? That doesn’t seem possible,” I’m always kind of taken aback. Almost anyone would say, “It’s Friday at two in the morning. We don’t have an opening political sketch. We can’t do it.” Yeah, of course you can. There’s no choice. And even if you abandon one idea for another one, saying yes allows you to move forward.”

As you look back on your own year, what have you said “no” to because you were afraid? Didn’t think you’d like it? Felt it was too far out of your comfort zone? Didn’t seem relevant? Felt like it would take up too much time? As Fey points out, there are definitely times when saying “no” means not stretching yourself too thin…but I personally haven’t yet found my limits seriously challenged. If anything, this concept of saying yes to the things that come my way have given me new limits and new levels of “can.” 

Even if you are scared, do things afraid. I teach acting classes and have been acting for over 20 years and make a point to tell all of my students that I still have the worst stage fright of anyone I know. My body will go into fight-or-flight mode and I will panic and look for a way out so I don’t have to go through with it…but I force myself off the ledge, do battle, and come out a stronger and much more capable woman than I was when I went in.

It’s time to start thinking seriously about a time or period of time where you have been less than receptive to saying “yes,” to yourself, to others, and ask yourself why. Set aside some time–a day, week, month, year maybe?–that you will begin to say yes and let the wave of opportunity rush over you. You may be surprised at what kind of mileage you get out of a simple three letter word.

The post Say “Yes” to Everything…Opportunity Is Waiting! appeared first on Career Girl Network.

You’ve probably heard of the famed 10,000 hour rule, that is takes 10,000 hours to master any skill. Before you start doing the math, we’ll save you some time – that’s about 10 years worth of time. Think about it. If you graduate college with a degree in business, and spend the next 10 years in direct sales, chances are you’re a direct sales expert. If you’ve been playing an instrument or practice a hobby for the same amount of time, you’ve probably gotten as good as you’re going to get at that skill.

If you’re interested in changing careers or learning a new skill, that 10,000 hour rule may seem daunting. But our friends at Work Awesome are giving you a few ways you could cut those 10,000 hours in half or less with “5 Ways to Shortcut the 10,000 Hour Rule.“

Two Great Shortcuts from Work Awesome:

Shortcut #1: Deliberate PracticeDeliberate practice is another term coined by Ericsson, and in a nutshell it means that rather than just going through the motions to say you’ve done something that you are quite intentional in doing the work. You focus on it and you pay attention to the process and the outcome (and how can you change the process to improve the outcome). You are definitely not just “getting your reps in.”

In the case of our copywriting novice, she would be using templates, writing out 50 versions of the headline, and making sure she was getting regular constructive feedback.

Shortcut #4: Study the Masters

No matter what anyone tells you, there isn’t a whole lot that hasn’t already been done before. Sure, no one has put quite your spin on it, but learn from the best and don’t reinvent the wheel.

The foundational principles are the foundational principles – right now we’re just iterating off of what the greats did generations before us.

By reading about and studying the greats – both their successes and their failures – you can accelerate your learning curve by not having to go down a path they have already gone.

3 Other Ways to Circumvent the Rule:

1. Partner with someone who did the hard work. Now, we’re not recommending you ride the coattails of a more hardworking person in your field. We’re simply recommending getting a mentor and learning from his or her experience. That way, when you have questions, you can ask that individual rather than slogging through the “figure it out yourself” process those 10,000 hours utilize.
2. Take big risks. If you’re learning to cross stitch and you consistently practice with the packages labeled “easy,” you’re never going to become an expert. If you want to avoid the whole 10,000 hours, you’re going to have to take bigger risks earlier in your learning process. Try the “hard” labeled package, go for the big payoff, and you might just succeed. If you fail, at least you’ve learned a big lesson.
3. Focus. It takes 10,000 hours to learn something because you’re doing a lot of other things in between those 10,000 hours. If you can, take time out to focus entirely on the skill or task you want to learn for a month or two at a time. If you want to learn French, can you take the summer off to go to France (dreaming, right, but hey, it’s an idea)? If you want to change industries or careers, perhaps you’re going to need to leave your current job and try a certificate program or internship to get into the new field.

Whatever the case, 10,000 hours is a long time, but it can be worth it. Take these shortcuts not to avoid the 10,000 hours, but to make it more effective!

The post The 10,000 Hour Rule: How to Get Around It appeared first on Career Girl Network.

Standing out from the crowd is tough when your resume is buried in a mound of papers on a hiring manager’s desk. An average of 118 people will apply for each advertised job, but only 20 percent of those applicants get called in for an interview, reports Forbes. You can turn those odds in your favor by embracing a personal website as your personal marketing tool.

Creating a personal website directly advertises your brand to potential employers and clients. Forbes noted that 56 percent of hiring managers pay more attention to a personal website than any other personal marketing tool.

A personal website lets you put your best foot forward and demonstrate your skills and experience in action. It increases your value because it is a living resume. Instead of telling employers or clients why you are the best person for the job, you can show what makes you the best through your work.

The Basics

A personal website should reflect your talents and personality. It should offer examples of what makes you the right person for the job. Your website is all about you and should contain an honest assessment of strengths and weaknesses you bring to the table.

Build a unique brand name to tie in with where you want to take your career. Then secure a domain name and open social media accounts tied to that brand. Inc. Magazine recommends creating optional brand names you can use if your desired domain name is already owned by another party.

Featuring your resume is a top priority. Employers and clients need to see how your skills and experience fit with their needs. Along with your resume, you should also show samples of your work and offer a detailed list of accomplishments. Your past experience becomes more valuable when you can demonstrate positive results created from your work.

Your website should also include personal information relevant to your professional goals. Include a small bio that details interests, hobbies, awards and accomplishments. This is a good spot for a high-quality headshot photo of yourself.

Don’t neglect to protect your website from threats posed by viruses and spyware. You want visitors to feel safe. According to www.internetproviders.com, even just deleting cookies dramatically improves online security.

Common Mistakes

The last thing you would do for a job interview is show up in pajamas with disheveled hair and a five o’clock shadow. Avoid giving a similar bad impression with how you construct your personal website.

Some common website mistakes include bad navigation, an outdated resume, lack of work samples and a failure to include contact information. If your website has any of these problems, it can sabotage your efforts to build your career.

Including contact information is a crucial element on your website. The whole point is to entice people to hire you. Without a clear way to connect, you’ll lose out on well-earned opportunities.

Make an effort to incorporate a user-friendly web design. It will simplify navigating through pages and finding information. Take enough time to keep everything you post updated and relevant to your career.

Spread the Word

Once you get your name out, do everything necessary to keep it there. Market yourself around the clock through social media and your website.

Offering a blog filled original content is an effective avenue for marketing yourself through your website. Smashing Magazine notes that including a blog will promote you and establish you as an expert in your niche as well as keep your website from becoming static.

Create articles, videos and podcasts where you offer useful information to your followers. It will show your skills in action to potential employers and clients and brings your resume to life.

About the Author: Guest Writer

Career Girl Network is proud to work with phenomenal guest writers from time to time, bringing you the best information, resources, and ideas from women who are at the top of their game, the head of their class, and well respected in their field. If you are interested in becoming a guest writer or regular contributor to Career Girl Network, use the “Contact Us” link at the top of this page.

The post The 21st Century Resume: A Personal Website appeared first on Career Girl Network.

Sometimes you love your job, and it completely fuels your fire. Sometimes you hate it, and it completely drags you down.  Sometimes you love it and you hate it, and sit at your desk wondering why you are so SO tired (and hoping that the coffee will kick in. Please. Anytime!).

I understand both feelings.  This morning, I woke up feeling tired – I knew I had to do some logistics planning for an upcoming new venture I’m working on, and the thought of excel spreadsheets drove me to want to hide under the covers…and I LOVE my job.  And on the other hand, when I was consulting, I would wake up when I had certain meetings on the calendar and just…roll over.  I would end up pressing snooze to avoid having to get up, and then when I did finally get up I would race to get ready, throw on some clothes, and feel annoyed at work that IT made me look bad.  And feel bad.  Obviously my wrinkled attire and poorly applied eye makeup was due to my job, right?
I share this to say that we have all been there.  And it’s kind of a vicious cycle. You wake up tired, go into work feeling detached, end up phoning in some of your job, and then feel worse.  You go home exhausted from doing less than your best, feel guilty, get annoyed, and then the cycle starts all over again the next day.
You may love your job, you may be tired of your job, but either way, you know you have to stay in your job for a little longer at least.  So, where does that leave you?

1. The first thing I want you to think about when you are stuck at your desk procrastinating and feeling low is this: When was I last exceptional in my work? When did you last do something that was not only required, but went so far above and beyond you got a large sense of satisfaction knowing you had done great work? Remember that feeling? When you know that what you have done is amazing, and you feel inspired, satisfied, and complete? Remember that burst of energy that you get when you go one step farther than what is expected of you and someone says: “Wow.” And more importantly, you say “wow.” Your happiness and energy at work come from how happy you are with yourself – and sometimes all we need to get a small boost of pleasure is knowing that we have done our best, and what we have done is good. Focus, get involved, and do one thing that is absolutely exceptional today.  Not to be Pollyanna about it (I’m too snarky for Pollyanna), but I promise you will feel better.
2. Think about where you want to be in a year. When you have that thought, what #1 thing would make you happier in a year than where you are today? Be specific, and get really clear on what that thing is, and then start moving towards it.  Sometimes, when work drags us down and life is busy, we stop making progress in our careers.  And progress is hugely motivational.  It provides you that intrinsic shot in the arm of “You did well!” that keeps us going when things get tough, gets us engaged and excited about what is next, and gets us off the couch when Real Housewives is on.  Or maybe that is just me.

You can do this!

Christie Mims is The Radical Fairy Godmother to the Woman Trapped in Her Suit.  Feeling stuck in your career? Get her free JOB unstuck kit here! Want more adventure in your career? Come to Costa Rica with her for a Career on Fire retreat this summer!

The post Is Your Job Dragging You Down? 2 Things To Do That Will Get You Excited Again! appeared first on Career Girl Network.

By now you’ve probably heard the catchy Justin Timberlake song “Mirrors” (Which I think sounds oddly like ‘Cry me a River’ but Justin isn’t asking me) and the premise of the song is “It’s like you’re a mirror, a mirror looking back at me.” It’s about the idea of the reflection we receive when we’re in relationships.  The contents of the song are romantic and while that’s certainly one person in our circle of people, I want to expand my conversation to include the people with whom we choose to spend the most time and how they reflect us.

Have you ever been to a fun house at a carnival? Inside there are tons of mirrors.  Some of them make us look taller, some shorter, some blur our faces or stretch them out or squish them up.  This is also what’s happening when you’re looking for your reflection in unintentionally chosen people.  These can be people who are naturally around in your life, like your sister or your friend who has been around for ages or that inspirational boss.  I’m not saying they’re not amazing.  They totally could be.  And they might not be reflecting the true you.

We talked about mindset last week.  I hope through examination you started identifying that like most career girls, yours is a growth mindset. Are you spending time with people who are in the fixed mindset? As you’re talking about your risks, learning and your great revolutionizing ideas, what people in the fixed mindset are reflecting is usually fear.  Have you been talking about your fitness goals with people who are really struggling with their own level of fitness?  Again what they might be reflecting is fear.

Be mindful.  Choose your relationships intentionally.  Choose your conversations intentionally.  As you begin to do this, you start to see yourself clearly.  Instead of seeing someone else’s fear in your reflection and making it yours, you begin to see your own fear.  Can you feel the difference? It’s so different.  It feels distinctly different.  You can be with your fear.  You can take action with your fear.

You start to see yourself in people who are self-aware.  You start to see yourself in people who take action. You start to see yourself in people who exude kindness and act with kindness.

Who are you spending time with this week? Choose wisely.

The post Who Are You Spending Time With This Week? appeared first on Career Girl Network.

It’s one of the biggest problems you face every day at work – your emails aren’t getting returned. You write them, meticulously at times, and people just don’t respond. Could it be that perhaps you’re not putting the action item up front? Are you rambling on and on until you get to the point in the last sentence? Solve this problem immediately and put your action item directly in the subject line.

We’re taking the advice of one of our favorite productivity experts, Jason Womack, and making our email more productive by making our subject lines actionable. Check out Jason’s advice here:

Make your subject line actionable
Have you ever gotten an email from someone with the subject line: “Opportunity”?

Think about what you have to do with this email. If it’s long, you have to read through the whole thing, looking carefully for said opportunity. How to remedy this?

Here’s a trick I’ve been using for a long time. I write the subject lines of my emails last, starting out with a verb that describes what needs to be done and a noun encapsulating what the email message is about directly. Over the past few years, I’ve realized I consistently make requests via email asking recipients to call, schedule, view, print, sign, scan, return or confirm receipt of a document.

It’s only fair to let the recipient know exactly what I need them to do when they see the email show up in their inbox so they can get to it more quickly. At my company, we’ve standardized the verbs used in email subjects so that everyone on our team is on the same page. For example, if I need one of my staff to take an action, I type in the subject line: “Call Susan B. today to confirm start time for Tuesday’s workshop: 415-555-xxxx.’ This makes it very clear what I need done and provides all relevant information as succinctly as possible.

Read the rest of Jason’s email productivity article at Entrepreneur.com by clicking here.

The post Email: Your Subject Line Is An Action Item appeared first on Career Girl Network.

She’s one of my favorite experts, and her new concept literally blew my mind! Gretchen Rubin from “The Happiness Project” is talking about what she calls “decoy habits,” and boy oh boy do we know there are a lot of women out there who need to hear this!

What is a Decoy Habit?

Gretchen Rubin says on her website:

A decoy habit is a habit that a person claims to want to adopt—but really doesn’t intend to do. Often, decoy habits reflect other people’s values or priorities. “I want to cook dinner every night.” “I want to finish my Ph.D. thesis by the end of the year.” “I want to give up coffee.” The decoy provides cover—we don’t have to acknowledge the habits that we actually follow, because there’s this other, better habit that we intend to adopt.

Traditional Decoy Habits You Might Be Doing

There are definitely some “traditional” decoy habits many of us are guilty of. Try some of these on for size:

• Health & Fitness
  If you’ve ever said, “I’ll start on Monday,” you’ve got yourself a decoy habit! The same goes for anyone who has ever written out a “Couch to 5K” or a half marathon training plan but never actually strapped on the shoes and taken that first run. Perhaps you tell your spouse, “I’m going to start meal planning so we’re taking our lunches and eating better.” You’re talking about it, but you aren’t doing it. That’s a decoy.
• Job Searching
  Especially if you’re in a job you hate, chances are you’ve threatened to leave at some point. “I swear, I’m going to quit” might have come out of your mouth or, “I’m going to spend this weekend applying for jobs.” When you say things like this, you create decoys that set you up for failure. You’re setting a decoy habit and therefore never getting through your decoy goal to your real one.
• Relationships
  Perhaps it’s a bad relationship with a parent or sibling. You say something like, “The next time s/he says X to me, I’m going to finally say something.” Or you say, “I’m going to make more of an effort to create a better relationship.” Where is the action? Hidden in the decoy.

Gretchen is still developing her language around decoy habits, and so are we. But it’s so worth considering in your own life. Are you missing out on actually achieving goals and creating great habits because you’re filling your life with decoys? Ask the hard questions, and you might just find it’s time to get rid of the decoy and play in reality!

The post Are You Being Sabotaged with “Decoy Habits”? appeared first on Career Girl Network.

We all have them – the kind of days where you get out of bed and you just know it’s going to be a bad day. You’re not alone. Bad days plague us all. But just because you’re having a bad day doesn’t mean all is lost until you go to bed tonight. You can salvage a bad day. In fact, productivity expert Jason Womack says your bad day can be “rescued” pretty easily.

Here are two of my favorites of Jason’s tips in “5 Steps to Rescue Your Productivity When Days Go Bad.“

Keep quick tasks close at hand.
When time opens up in your schedule, like your lunch appointment not showing up, you suddenly have time to handle other opportunities if you’re prepared. For example, I carry notecards, envelopes and stamps in my bag. When I find “lost time” in short unexpected moments throughout my busy day, this allows me to write a few thank you notes, birthday cards and other hand-written messages to clients, staff and others in my network. Getting something done in place of what fell through keeps me feeling productive and the unexpected gesture makes me stand out from the masses.

Use cancellations as time to think about the big picture.
What’s the first thing you do when you’re notified that a meeting has been canceled? Check email or go for coffee, right? Most people go back to what they were working on. What if you didn’t? Instead of chipping away at your never-ending mountain of emails, take that one-hour time slot that you were scheduled to be away from your desk to actually move a big, long term project forward. When was the last time you had a fully uninterrupted hour to think? Now is your time to make significant progress on something big.

It’s similar to the “15 minute block” notion we talked about recently. What can you do with an extra 15 minutes? Can you have tasks on hand? Or can you take time to strategize? Either way, doing so can immediately rescue a bad day and make it a productive one.

The post Rescue Your Bad Day with Productivity appeared first on Career Girl Network.

This tragic disease strikes 1 out of every 3.8 women between the ages of 11 and 67 in America. On any given day, 10,982,120,596 trillion women and girls are plagued with this debilitating disease. And, the saddest part? No real statistics exist on it! I had to make these up!

Hell, the syndrome doesn’t even show up in a Google search!

Go ahead, Google “FOYOC Syndrome” and see what happens. See — told you! Nada, Nothing, ZIP.

Why the cover-up? Because most of us don’t realize FOYOC afflicts us until it’s too late. When we finally piece together the symptoms, we’re left with a painful secret that silences us. Simply put, embarrassment floods us and we refuse to tell anyone else, so we live in silence.

It’s time for the syndrome to come out in the open and reveal itself for every guilt-provoking, please-don’t-let-it-get-warm-yet,  how-the-hell-did-I-ever-fit-into-this, thought we’ve had. Ladies, your read it here first! A CGN exclusive just for you, FOYOC Syndrome defined:

Fear Of Your Own Clothes (FOYOC) Syndrome

Sound bone-chillingly familiar? Read on to learn the 4 ways to diagnose yourself:

1. Unusual fear of the warm weather — While others are donning short sleeves and shorts, you relentlessly hold on to your sweater dress/ tights/ boots ensemble insisting that it’s not that WARM OUT YET!
2. Your pulse races and you break-out in a sweat when you walk near your closet — A classic symptom that manifests when you contemplate trying on something from last summer.
3. You refuse to send any of your ‘current’ outfits to the cleaners — If you do that, an outfit comes out of the rotation leaving you with a gap. A gap which must be filled by a visit to your closet. (See #2 for further information.)
4. You start to isolate yourself — Social invitations overwhelm you. A simple lunch invitation reduces you to a babbling idiot. I’d love to, but I can’t possibly accept any invitations until we get our national debt straighten out! What you’re really thinking is, Are you insane? Then I not only have to deal with what to wear, but I need to order food! Are you some sort of freaking lunatic? Is this some sort of sick joke? You bitch!

Suffer no more! I finally admitted my FOYOC syndrome a few weeks ago at a networking lunch for the SBAC. I just blurted it out! I‘m currently afraid of my own clothes. And, then I waited for the inevitable backlash.

To my surprise and delight my friend answered, Me too!

Since then, I’ve been sharing my experience with everyone! It’s so freeing to come out of the closet….no pun intended!

The post 4 Ways to Know if You Have FOYOC Syndrome appeared first on Career Girl Network.

Every Saturday, you get your weekly dose of “Stay in Bed Stimulus” – great reads, fun videos, and amazing podcasts and pieces of music that will make you want to stay in bed an extra hour, and get your much needed relaxation time in this weekend!

Read It!

Watch It!

Gabrielle Bernstein Interviews bestseller Daphne Oz

Gabrielle Bernstein (author of Spirit Junkie) sits down with Daphne Oz to speak with her about her bestselling book, Relish, An Adventure in Food, Style, and Everyday Fun.

Daphne shares her tips and draws on her personal experience to help others maximize health and happiness by making adjustments and keeping balance in our health, our home, and our daily lives. Our relationship with food can be healthy and delicious.

Hear It!

The Power of Planning

The Nutrition Diva (aka Monica Reinagel) wants to help people be healthier through simple health tips and actionable steps that are easily incorporated into daily life. She challenges listeners to take control of their health, and not to fear it because staying healthy can be pretty simple.

Her podcast “The Power of Planning” helps remind those of us that are extremely busy, that planning snacks, meals, and health activities are just as important as doing them. By planning, we set the foundation to achieve optimal health.

Want to Get “Stay in Bed” Saturday in Your Inbox?

Don’t worry, we’re going to keep posting it on the website, too. But if you want to wake up to “Stay in Bed” Saturday, sign up for Career Girl Network’s newsletter by clicking here now!

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