Friends!

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Posted January 9, 2012 by Marcy Twete in Life After Five
Just over a year ago, I moved to Chicago. My husband’s new job, our new life here in Illinois, I was excited for it all. But naively, I didn’t believe it would change much in my life. I thought I’d still be just a few hours from my hometown, and I’d still see my friends often. Of course, right? Slowly, the reality set in. 7 hours from home and 16 hours from home are big differences. Living blocks from my best friend is different than living hundreds of miles away. This seems a given now, but at the time, I convinced myself nothing would change.

In the last year, I’ve worked diligently to keep the friendships I care about in Minneapolis. I asked myself over and over: How do I keep the relationships strong from a distance? How do I take care of people’s feelings and mine at the same time knowing I won’t see them tomorrow? It took time and effort, but I’ve maintained incredible friendships and work hard at keeping in touch (sometimes failing, but always trying).

The other difficult piece I didn’t expect was finding new friends. I didn’t want replacement friends, so at first, I kept people at arm’s length. Colleagues, co-workers, networking contacts. I let them know me, but only so much. But somewhere along the line, they became confidants as well, new friends I loved and cherished.

This weekend, I had an important a-ha moment. I stood in my condo on Saturday night, a room full of people around me eating chili and drinking wine, and I realized, “I HAVE FRIENDS!” These were not just people who were meeting me for the first time, or nice to me because I was new to Chicago. These were people who accepted an invitation to a dinner party at my home on a Saturday night. I guess that’s an “they like me, they really like me” moment for me.

It took a year – but here I am, a job I love, friends I care about, and a city I’m beginning to call home. It’s all a work in progress.


About the Author

Marcy Twete

Marcy Twete is the author of "You Know Everybody! A Career Girl’s Guide to Building a Network That Works" and a career expert who believes in order to be empowered in your career, you must be surrounded with resources and a network that both supports and challenges you. Marcy began her own networking journey as a professional fundraiser in the nonprofit industry, honed those skills as a fundraising consultant, and in 2012 networked her way to nearly 1 million readers as the CEO of the professional development website Career Girl Network.

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