Say Goodbye to the “That Guy”

Posted August 27, 2013 by Peggy Harrington in Life After Five
not into you

“Every story we’re told implores us to wait for it: the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we’re so focused on finding our happy ending we don’t learn how to read the signs.” –He’s Just Not That Into You

As you have probably guessed from the quote above, this post is about the “that guy” in your dating life. You know exactly who I am talking about. He is the one that everyone in your life warns you to steer clear of and yet you still find yourself always going back to. He is the one that you sing about how you are “never ever ever getting back together with,” only to find out that never ever really means until the next time you see him. He is charming. He is toxic. Your relationship is a vicious and unexplainable cycle that you can’t seem to escape from.  He is never going to change so it’s time for you to put on your most killer pair of pumps and kick him to the curb, once and for all.

Here are 4 ways to spot the “that guy” in your life:

  1. It seems like you can’t do anything right when it comes to him.  You have tried time and time again to make the relationship work because there are clearly feelings there, but it constantly fails. At this point you have to accept that it’s not meant to be. Just because you would be willing to do anything for this guy doesn’t mean that you are going to get your fairytale ending. The right guy will still love you when you make a colossal mistake, not use it as an excuse to run far far away from you.
  2.  You are always making excuses for his behavior. Do you find yourself saying things like “oh he was just having a bad night,” “he has a hard time expressing himself,” or “he really cares about me but he’s worried about what his friends will think?” If any or all of these questions are sounding way too familiar then you are currently with a “that guy.” Women are the ones who play mind games. Guys are pretty straightforward so if his actions are saying that he’s not interested, then he truly isn’t interested.  Unlike with women, if a guy is ignoring you that most certainly does not mean that he is secretly in love with you. Stop making excuses for him when he doesn’t even care enough to give you an explanation for his bipolar behavior. Your time is precious and he is not worth another second of it.
  3. He only wants you when he can’t have you. This one can be a bit tricky.  If you are finding it a bit strange that he always seems to come around when you are finally happy again and have moved on to someone else, that is because it’s not a coincidence. Your “that guy” just wants what he can’t have, and for the time being, that is you. When this happens you just have to be strong and remind yourself that he is only turning on the charm because his ego is bruised and you have now become a challenge. If he had really been “regretting letting you go since like forever” then he would have made a move a long time ago.
  4.  The thought of defining your relationship makes him cringe.  The last thing that a guy wants is for someone else to take his girl. If he is really into you then he will want to take you off of the market. Don’t ever listen to “that guy’s” excuses about how he isn’t ready for you yet, doesn’t want to risk ruining things, or really wants you, but in a few years. You are not a library book that can be put on hold. These are just lines, and while they do sound a bit flattering, they are actually just manipulative.

The first step to finding your happily ever after is to eliminate the “that guy” from your life. This isn’t going to turn into an epic romance and while you are obsessing over Mr. Wrong, you are missing out on some great guys. I mean honestly, when your future children ask you to tell them the story about how you two met do you want to begin by saying, “Well…your daddy ignored me and was a complete jerk for a few years but then I guess I was finally worth his time!” The right guy will treat you in such a way that you are proud to tell others about his behavior.

The “that guy” is not and never will be “your guy.”

About the Author

Peggy Harrington

Peggy Harrington is a bubbly and multitasking senior at Marquette University in Milwaukee Wisconsin. She is thrilled to be the Events Marketing Specialist for Career Girl Network. Peggy loves fashion, working out, planning fabulous events and traveling! She is currently a Style Guru for CollegeFashionista and writes a post for the What to Wear column every Thursday. Peggy lives her life according to one of her favorite quotes by Ralph Waldo Emerson which states that “nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.”