4 Ways to Know if You Have FOYOC Syndrome
This tragic disease strikes 1 out of every 3.8 women between the ages of 11 and 67 in America. On any given day, 10,982,120,596 trillion women and girls are plagued with this debilitating disease. And, the saddest part? No real statistics exist on it! I had to make these up!
Hell, the syndrome doesn’t even show up in a Google search!
Go ahead, Google “FOYOC Syndrome” and see what happens. See — told you! Nada, Nothing, ZIP.
Why the cover-up? Because most of us don’t realize FOYOC afflicts us until it’s too late. When we finally piece together the symptoms, we’re left with a painful secret that silences us. Simply put, embarrassment floods us and we refuse to tell anyone else, so we live in silence.
It’s time for the syndrome to come out in the open and reveal itself for every guilt-provoking, please-don’t-let-it-get-warm-yet, how-the-hell-did-I-ever-fit-into-this, thought we’ve had. Ladies, your read it here first! A CGN exclusive just for you, FOYOC Syndrome defined:
Fear Of Your Own Clothes (FOYOC) Syndrome
Sound bone-chillingly familiar? Read on to learn the 4 ways to diagnose yourself:
- Unusual fear of the warm weather — While others are donning short sleeves and shorts, you relentlessly hold on to your sweater dress/ tights/ boots ensemble insisting that it’s not that WARM OUT YET!
- Your pulse races and you break-out in a sweat when you walk near your closet — A classic symptom that manifests when you contemplate trying on something from last summer.
- You refuse to send any of your ‘current’ outfits to the cleaners — If you do that, an outfit comes out of the rotation leaving you with a gap. A gap which must be filled by a visit to your closet. (See #2 for further information.)
- You start to isolate yourself — Social invitations overwhelm you. A simple lunch invitation reduces you to a babbling idiot. I’d love to, but I can’t possibly accept any invitations until we get our national debt straighten out! What you’re really thinking is, Are you insane? Then I not only have to deal with what to wear, but I need to order food! Are you some sort of freaking lunatic? Is this some sort of sick joke? You bitch!
Suffer no more! I finally admitted my FOYOC syndrome a few weeks ago at a networking lunch for the SBAC. I just blurted it out! I‘m currently afraid of my own clothes. And, then I waited for the inevitable backlash.
To my surprise and delight my friend answered, Me too!
Since then, I’ve been sharing my experience with everyone! It’s so freeing to come out of the closet….no pun intended!