Let’s Talk Moms

Posted April 1, 2013 by Monica O'Connell in Life After Five
Multitasking mom


Recent work I’ve been doing in my office has really struck a chord with a bigger audience about a relationship with someone we don’t often talk about and have major assumptions we’ve placed onto the person and the relationship.   We’ll additionally explore assumptions made about us women based on simply being a woman.

Guess who? Mom.

There are obviously numerous facets to this conversation and I’ve picked 3 to explore in the upcoming weeks.  Some disclaimers:

a) I don’t know all of you and probably don’t know your moms.  I have no idea if you have a great relationship with your mama or if you really haven’t had one at all.

b) I have no idea if you have children, want to have children or dislike/loathe children.

c) For some people, this conversation is really, really touchy.  If that’s you, self care! and if you need additional assistance, find a lovely coach/therapist/best friend/ partner with whom to continue the conversation.

Without further delay, here are the 3 upcoming topics:

1. Our own moms.  What did she teach us? What do we think about her? How was our relationship during our childhood? What’s it like now? This is where only you know that relationship. This might be a breeze.  Your mom might be the cutest button of a mom in the whole world.  This might also be painful.  Both are ok.

2.  Becoming moms.  What assumptions do we have about pregnancy? Family? Connection? Assumptions we make about motherhood. This is a fun one, I think.  If you’re a mama, this is the one where you get to raise a flag on all of the crazy mom myths.  You get to be brave enough to start saying out loud that pregnancy (for some) is crazy painful or absolutely terrifying.  This is also where you get to give a voice to the sleepless and sex-free nights of the toddler takeover in your bed.

3. Deciding not to be a mom.  Or thinking that you’re deciding not to have children. What the world tells us about choosing to be childfree.  Messages we’ve received about women who choose to not be mothers.  I recently met a few women for coffee who, at various points in their lives, decided not to have kids.  One of our other friends is at a point where she’s considering not having kiddos either.  She was surprised to be in a conversation about this.  She noted that she’s surrounded by friends who are having children left and right and no one has ever had this conversation with her.  If this is you, you’re not alone.  Let’s talk about it.

Are you ready for this? See you next week when we begin. 

About the Author

Monica O'Connell

Monica O’Connell is a Licensed Marriage and Family therapist in Minneapolis, Minnesota. In her practice, she spends her career cheering on “Career Girls” as they learn how to get the most out of life. Monica works with arguably some of the most successful, intelligent, inspiring women in the Twin Cities who tackle self-discovery, career success, and what’s getting in the way of their true desires. She shares her favorite moments as those “best described not by words but by the stomach aching, face soreness that comes from spending an entire day laughing with loved ones.”