Make Self-Love Your New Year’s Resolution

Posted December 28, 2012 by Monica O'Connell in Life After Five

The new year is right around the corner (less than a week away!) and most people are contemplating 2012 and looking forward to what is in front of them.  There are New Year/New You promos every where: Get healthy in 2013, lose weight in 2013, get the love you’ve always wanted in 2013, get the money you want in 2013. And while all of those are possible, I really believe how you do it is through a daily practice, in which you work towards what makes you healthy, happy and whole.

The challenge is to set resolutions that come from a place of building courage, expanding self-understanding, enriching relationships, and continuous healing.  With the focus on those pieces, we’re likely to take pride in the way every year unfolds.

For many people, the idea of starting the year with a bang and a total life revamp sets them up for failure in the 3rd week of January. While some people make drastic life changes like going from zero exercise to six days a week, most people are likely to be unable to sustain such a change. For example, there’s a line into my favorite spin class that wraps around the whole building in January and continues to decrease each week that passes.

However, if you’re resolved to develop a healthier relationship with yourself on a weekly basis, you probably should find a way to integrate movement. That might include hiking with your pup  or main squeeze, going to rejuvenating hot yoga, and making it to that amazing spin class. At the same time, you get the opportunity to check your shame at the door because you’re not setting unrealistic expectations that you’ll probably fail to meet.

I’m totally in support of setting those monstrous life-changing goals. It’s how we know what we’re working towards and it’s what pushes us to take a leap bigger than the one we took last time. It’s how we create our 5-10-15 year vision. If goals are how we get where we want to go, I think self-love is how we build it, day in and day out.

How do you want to feel tomorrow? Maybe that’s even too far ahead. How do you want to feel today? What do you choose today that moves you toward that feeling? What you choose tomorrow might be the same or it might be different. This allows for continuous development, adjusted to just what you need, and in the most loving way.

Here’s to your self-love today.

About the Author

Monica O'Connell

Monica O’Connell is a Licensed Marriage and Family therapist in Minneapolis, Minnesota. In her practice, she spends her career cheering on “Career Girls” as they learn how to get the most out of life. Monica works with arguably some of the most successful, intelligent, inspiring women in the Twin Cities who tackle self-discovery, career success, and what’s getting in the way of their true desires. She shares her favorite moments as those “best described not by words but by the stomach aching, face soreness that comes from spending an entire day laughing with loved ones.”