Meeting Your Match…On Twitter

Posted November 4, 2009 by Marcy Twete in Life After Five

It’s been highlight requested that I write a post about how I met my husband – and more broadly, how to meet a guy on Twitter. So here goes it…

Over the past couple of months, it’s been super fun to tell friends, family, and colleagues about being in a new relationship. And inevitably, the first question is always the same. “So, how’d you meet him?” This question is usually followed by great confusion when I say, “We met on Twitter.”

Now I don’t know if meeting someone on Twitter is a logical thing. It just sort of happened for us. But I suppose as social media becomes more prevalent and we see more into the lives of those we don’t know, it will become easier and easier to become attracted to someone you’ve actually never met. That was exactly the case for Twitter Guy and me.

Twitter Guy and I first communicated via Twitter on July 29th. We bantered for about 6 weeks before we met in person, and truthfully, it made the first meeting much less pressure filled. I mean, jeez, I knew what he ate the night before, I knew he read the paper in bed that Sunday, I knew he had a bad day at work that Wednesday. And the fact that he read my blog made his knowledge of me truthfully a little scary. So when you meet someone you’ve already “spent the day” with online, it makes spending the actual day together a whole lot easier.
So in short, here are my tips if you so desire to meet your match…on Twitter:
  • Find someone who strikes your fancy. Do his posts make you laugh? Do you find yourself looking for his Tweets more than others? Are you thinking to yourself, “I could really chat with this guy in person.” If so, he’s probably someone you should think about starting a Twit-mance with.
  • Start talking. If you don’t start the conversation, it’ll never lead to something more. If he posts he’s at a restaurant you’d like to try, write back, “How was it? I heard their bouillabaisse is phenomenal.” It’ll start the conversation on something you’d both enjoy.
  • Make sure he’s talking. If you comment a few times and receive no comment back, the same rules apply as in all dating situations. He’s just not that into you.
  • Keep talking. You’ve got to keep the conversation going. Out of site, out of mind. Comment once for every comment he gives you, and little more. You don’t want to appear desperate or overly interested in someone you’ve never met. You might come off as a psycho (also, don’t blog about how much you like him after your first date or he’ll go running – but he might come back, you never know. That’s a whole different blog post.)
  • Start flirting. The first big flirt for Twitter Guy and I occurred when he posted he wanted to go on this awesome 117 day cruise around the world. I posted back that I’d definitely join him on that cruise, and added, “but maybe we should actually meet each other before we make world travel plans.” Bantering begins.
  • Keep flirting. For weeks, then, Twitter Guy and I bantered. We bantered about alcohol and restaurants, cooking and work, bosses and parents. It was fun.
  • Take action. When the bantering got to the point where it was clear there was interest on both ends, we made plans. I mentioned casually that I’d join him at a concert if he ever needed a partner, and he direct messaged to tell me to pick a show. We did, and the rest is history (well, there was me standing him up for lawn furniture, him pursuing me again, and going out weeks later. But hey, that’s another blog post.)
The moral of the story – if some strikes your fancy, start the conversation. Let it progress naturally and see if it moves towards a meeting. Maybe it’ll be just another Tweetup, but maybe it’ll be the start of something that makes you happier than you’ve ever been. Worked for me.

About the Author

Marcy Twete

Marcy Twete is a career fundraiser turned corporate responsibility executive, a career and networking expert and the author of the book "You Know Everybody! A Career Girl’s Guide to Building a Network That Works."