Single Career Girl: The Dreaded “Still Single?” Question

Posted December 22, 2012 by Marcy Farrey in Life After Five

The holidays are here and there’s a good chance you’re headed home for the holidays. Or maybe you’re hosting your family at your home this year. Either way, you’ll be seeing a lot of loved ones who will want to know how everything has been with you since you last saw them.

I’m pretty fortunate to have parents who really don’t care if I’m single or married. In fact, I think both my parents would be happy if I stayed single! But I have friends who complain of parents or family members who very much want to see them settled and married. When they go home, they’re asked the dreaded question: “Are you seeing anyone?”

I don’t even like getting asked this question by the woman who does my nails or waxes my eyebrows. Every time I go in to spas, it seems that all the women want to know is if I’m┬áseeing anybody. And I always feel a little sting when I say, “No, not right now.” They respond with that same, tired line: “Oh, you’re so pretty, I’m sure you’ll find someone soon.”

I could go off on a tangent about everything wrong with that statement, but I think we all get it. None of us HAS to be with anyone, and it’s 100 percent fine if you want to be single right now. So, when you get asked these questions, here’s how to keep your cool.

  1. Tell the truth. Don’t make up an imaginary boyfriend or say you’re dating a few people right now. Be honest. If you’re taking a break from dating right now to work on your career, then say that. If you just haven’t found anyone you’re interested in, it’s okay to say that, too.
  2. If anyone criticizes your current status, let it go. Don’t let it make you angry all day. Some people criticize — it’s just what they do. Engaging them in an argument about something so silly is not worth the time. If you show that you are happy and confident, then you are the one who comes out on top.
  3. Accentuate the positive. Tell them all the great things that have gone on in your life lately: a new job, promotion, or project at work. Don’t keep the focus on your relationship status.
  4. Don’t sulk if you’re the single among couples. Even if you are the only single gal around, have fun. Embrace it. Everyone wants to spend time with you because they like you, and don’t care if you’re there with someone else or not. That’s usually in your head.
  5. Don’t get angry when they try to set you up. A lot of people’s families love to get very involved. Yes, it is annoying when they offer you potential suitors, but remember that they’re doing this because they care about you and they think they are helping. Thank them for thinking of you. And remember — you don’t have to go on any dates if you don’t want to.

Yeah, it might kind of suck to have no one to kiss at midnight if everyone else does. But think of it as another year working toward what you want. Raise a glass to yourself and your independence — you will find someone one day, and this could be one of your last solo holidays. Enjoy every last second!

About the Author

Marcy Farrey

Marcy Farrey is a videographer, writer, and editor. In her previous life, she worked as a broadcast news reporter and producer in Lincoln, Nebraska and as a writer and producer in Minneapolis, Minnesota. She has a Master of Arts in Writing and Publishing from DePaul University and a Bachelor of Science in Journalism from Northwestern University. Learn more about Marcy on her website


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