The Influence of Others: Removed
Martha contends we spend our lives saying things like this: “If _______ would only _______, then I could feel _______.” Martha then tells us to remove the first two statements and say, “I could feel _______.” Because the truth of the matter is, you can feel any way you choose. Your friends, your family, your circumstances, etc. do not determine the way you feel. You do.
For the past six months, I’ve said a number of times, “If only I had _____, then I would absolutely love living in Chicago.” After reading Martha’s article, this became so clear to me. I already love living in Chicago. I already love this city. I don’t need to be employed to love living here, because what would that really change? I would have a different schedule in the same city, with the same activities, with the same opportunities and festivals and restaurants and theatre. So why didn’t I think I loved Chicago? Because I tied that love to a condition. And maybe it’s Martha Beck’s article, maybe it’s being gone for 10 days, but whatever it is, I’ve realized my love for this city in a new way.
It works for situations at work. It works for situations with family. It works. When I stopped attaching conditions to my feelings, and realized I could just feel them, it was the most liberating moment! I sincerely hope my readers will have the same reactions to Ms. Beck’s words. Truly powerful!