The Name Change Decision

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Posted June 20, 2011 by Marcy Twete in Life After Five
Getting married presents numerous decisions – where to have the wedding, who to invite, which dress to wear, etc. etc. etc. Few are career related. One, however, keeps many engaged career girls awake at night. Should I take my husband’s last name? And while there is no right answer, I can speak to the struggle I encountered with this decision five years ago and the reasons I made a different decision in my second marriage than I did in my first.

When I married in 2006, my ex-husband was adamant I change my name. I kowtowed to his traditionalism and agreed. In 2008 when we divorced, the lovely IT Director in my workplace changed my name on my email and phone for me before I even saw a divorce attorney. And that same day, I swore I would never again change my name. So here I am, a happily married lady (quote from Sex and the City, “It’s all so great 7 days in!”) with a permanently different name from my husband and completely happy with my choice.

The choice is one every woman has to make individually. For me, I was attached heavily to the legacy of my father, who has always stood behind me through hell and high water. Furthermore, I believe my career is built on my name. Changing my name at this stage in my career just seemed like a change in course I wasn’t ready to accept. I love my last name. It’s unique, no one else has it, and I feel good when I say it. And for me, that’s all that mattered. And luckily I’ve found a man who doesn’t mind introducing his wife by a different last name.

I’ve had it both ways, and this one feels more authentic and more like me. So that’s the key to success with this decision. Think carefully about what feels authentic for you, and only that authenticity will point you in the right direction to make the right decision.


About the Author

Marcy Twete

Marcy Twete is the author of "You Know Everybody! A Career Girl’s Guide to Building a Network That Works" and a career expert who believes in order to be empowered in your career, you must be surrounded with resources and a network that both supports and challenges you. Marcy began her own networking journey as a professional fundraiser in the nonprofit industry, honed those skills as a fundraising consultant, and in 2012 networked her way to nearly 1 million readers as the CEO of the professional development website Career Girl Network.

2 Comments


  1.  
    Elizabeth

    Deciding to change my name wasn't a big decision for me and I didn't struggle with it at all. Before we got married, Charlie assumed I'd either keep my name or hyphenate. But I honestly think that if Charlie had been adamant that I change my name, I'd have been more stubborn and either not done it, or done it, and then resented the decision.





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