The “Shine” Theory: Surround Yourself with Power

Posted June 4, 2013 by Marcy Twete in Life After Five

There’s a New York Magazine article that’s been making the social media rounds for the past few days. In it, writer Ann Friedman analyzes the jealousy of former member of Destiny’s Child Kelly Rowland. After all, wouldn’t any member of a powerful trio be jealous if one member of that trio went on to incredible success? Ann says:

Few women are unlucky enough to have their successes measured against Beyoncé’s.

But Friedman also points out that Kelly Rowland’s success is nothing to downplay! Rowland has achieved critical acclaim for her music, fashion, and is joining the cast of The X Factor. But still, she admits to being jealous of her former Destiny’s Child sister’s career and success. And we can all relate! We’ve all had friends who seem to work just as hard as we do, who aren’t any smarter or more talented than we are, but somehow make more money and have bigger and better titles. And it’s natural for us to be somewhat jealous. This is not a new concept. However, Ann Friedman’s challenge to women is revolutionary:

Here’s my solution: When you meet a woman who is intimidatingly witty, stylish, beautiful, and professionally accomplished, befriend her. Surrounding yourself with the best people doesn’t make you look worse by comparison. It makes you better.

Are you avoiding that friend who is so much more successful? She always wears 5″ heels and looks flawless, and next to her, no matter how good you look, you feel frumpy. So you avoid having dinner with her when she asks. But maybe it’s time to change your tune. Perhaps she actually makes you shine rather than dulling your shine.
It’s like Oprah says – surround yourself with “only people who are going to lift you higher.” Can your “Beyonce-like” friend really lift you higher? Let her shine and you will, too!

About the Author

Marcy Twete

Marcy Twete is a career fundraiser turned corporate responsibility executive, a career and networking expert and the author of the book "You Know Everybody! A Career Girl’s Guide to Building a Network That Works."