The Single Career Girl: Doing Activities Alone

Posted October 13, 2012 by Marcy Farrey in Networking Buzz

If you’ve moved to a new city, or are just out of college, your network of friends in your city might be small. Or, all of your friends might be in relationships. And there are certain activities that you can really only do with other people — eating out, going to a movie, etc. What happens when no one you know can go with you, or if you don’t know anyone at all? You might have to — gasp! — go alone.

We always assume that if we go somewhere alone, we’ll look like losers. In reality, most people never notice what you’re doing, or even think twice about it. It’s only you who is worried. And you might not realize that there are a lot of other women out there in the same position.

At many points in my life, I’ve had to go out and do things alone. It has taken me awhile to get used to it, but each time, I realize it’s not as horrible or scary as I think. And going out alone can even be a way for you to make new friends, especially if you’re attending an event. And recently, The Daily Muse published an article about dining out alone. Even they agree that this is a good way to meet people!

I have a few ways for you to work up your courage, and make sure that your first solo outing isn’t so scary:

  • Try going out at less popular time. I went to a movie alone for the first time when I moved to Nebraska. I went at an off-time, in the middle of the day. I also saw a movie that had been out for awhile. The theatre was much less crowded, and I didn’t feel weird sitting alone. In fact, there was another woman there alone!
  • At a restaurant, try sitting at the bar. The Daily Muse also recommends this. If you sit at the bar with a book, you’re more likely to meet others who are dining alone. You can chat with the bartender about the menu and ask questions of those sitting around you. It might seem weird, but this is what happens naturally. I’ve dined out at lunch or after work alone, and have ended up chatting with people this way. Obviously, if the person is a strange guy hitting on you, this can be uncomfortable — that’s why you have the book! Bury your head in it if things get too weird. No book? Use your phone.
  • At an event, find others who are alone, or look for small groups. If you’re attending an event alone, and no one you’ve met before is there, walk up to the other person standing alone and introduce yourself. Walk around and introduce yourself to others who are in smaller groups (this can be less intimidating). Events are meant for mingling, so don’t feel nervous about doing just that! If anything, these are the easiest to attend alone.
  • Above all, don’t be ashamed about going out alone. Sometimes we can act awkward and uncomfortable if we feel like what we’re doing looks weird. Don’t think so hard about it! Act as if this is something you do all the time, and you’ll feel more confident. If people ask you about who you came with, just say you wanted to check it out for yourself. If you’re new to town, say so. They might have tips on good places for you to explore in the city.

Have you done any activities alone? How did it work out? Share your tips below. And if you’re really scared of dining out or going to a movie alone, find some new friends at these events and ask them if they want to go! Expand your network. It may take time, but if you put effort into it, you’ll find new friends are everywhere.

Check out the rest of the Daily Muse’s tips on dining out alone here.

About the Author

Marcy Farrey

Marcy Farrey is a videographer, writer, and editor. In her previous life, she worked as a broadcast news reporter and producer in Lincoln, Nebraska and as a writer and producer in Minneapolis, Minnesota. She has a Master of Arts in Writing and Publishing from DePaul University and a Bachelor of Science in Journalism from Northwestern University. Learn more about Marcy on her website

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