The Single Career Girl: Singles Mixers

Posted October 20, 2012 by Marcy Farrey in Life After Five

Whenever I speak to other single Career Girls, they ask me about which activities I’ve done to meet other singles. I’ve tried a wide range in Chicago, and I am in the process of finding which activites work best for me.

I’ve tried a lot of those big singles parties, mixers, and happy hours with various companies and groups. Some are themed or based around a game, like a Nuts and Bolts party (the men are given a nut and the women a bolt, and you have to try and find your fit). Others just center around drink deals. Yes, some of them can be a bit corny, but they do introduce you to a wide range of people.

I have gotten a few dates out of these mixers, and if I look at the numbers, I actually have more success at them. Here’s a few things to be aware of when you attend a singles party:

  1. Pick a party that suits your interests and age range. Most parties will have an age range. You’ll have a lot more success meeting people when the age range is restricted, and close to your own age. Being in the middle is better than being at the higher or lower end. Also, if there is a theme, make sure you pick one that you like. See a party that is for single professionals? Try it! If the focus of the party is narrowed toward something you identify with, you’ll have more success.
  2. Don’t be afraid to go alone — in fact, it’s better. A lot of women seem to bring their entire posse to a singles party and then stand in the corner with their friends. DON’T do that. You won’t meet anyone, and if you do, that person will have to talk to all of your friends and not spend time getting to know you. Also, if you go with a friend and they hit it off with someone, you might end up standing off to the side annoyed and a little jealous. Or the reverse could happen, and you’ll have to deal with a bored friend who wants to go home. If you go by yourself, you’re forced to mingle — and the only person you have to worry about is you.
  3. Don’t get stuck talking to one person — unless you really like him. It can be hard to get rid of the one guy who seemed to latch on to you from the beginning. If you’re not interested, then don’t be overly polite — say it was nice to meet him, but you need to get a drink, use the restroom, etc. If it is a guy you are really interested in, then by all means, talk to him for a length of time that feels natural. My aim at these events is always to make at least one strong connection — not to try to get with every guy in the room. Quality over quantity!
  4. Beware of the guys who “work the room” and who come on too strong. So, the weird thing with singles parties is that once you do meet someone you’re interested in, you don’t really want to see him taking down another girl’s number five minutes later. And believe me, some guys are really bad at managing these parties tactfully (Seriously, at least wait until I’ve left the room or the immediate vicinity). Whenever I give a guy my number, and then see him immediately walk to the next girl and take her’s down, and so on, I rule him out. Why? Because he is clearly putting playing the field ahead of finding one quality person. And I want a guy who knows he is interested in me. I’m equally turned off by the guy who is too aggressive, and who asks you to leave the party and hang out with him that night. To that gentleman, my answer is always no.

If you have any funny stories about singles parties, or tips you want to share, leave them in our comments section below!

About the Author

Marcy Farrey

Marcy Farrey is a videographer, writer, and editor. In her previous life, she worked as a broadcast news reporter and producer in Lincoln, Nebraska and as a writer and producer in Minneapolis, Minnesota. She has a Master of Arts in Writing and Publishing from DePaul University and a Bachelor of Science in Journalism from Northwestern University. Learn more about Marcy on her website


    Danielle Bilbruck

    Not to mention that bringing your friends or people you clearly know well could make you more unapproachable or daunting…”you mean I have to get through ALL THOSE GATEKEEPERS to say hello?!”


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