What Are You Noticing?

Posted March 25, 2013 by Monica O'Connell in Life After Five


Hello! I wanted to check in on a few things.  How’s your meditation challenge going? I’m plugging away and doing the best I can to incorporate meditation into my schedule.  Like last week, some days have more success and others have less success.  I’m just noticing that.  Second, how’s noticing going? What did you learn?

Often times what comes up for people, if there is truly a practice of noticing, is they start to uncover their inner wisdom.  Often times people come into my office and tell me that there’s this thing that they are either doing or not doing.

The thing can be I’m not losing weight like I want to be, I am not practicing self care, I really want to date but I’m not doing anything about it.  Or I can’t stop watching the Kardashians before bed,  I can’t stop getting angry at my husband for being late, I am avoiding asking for a raise even though I need one.

These things are easy for us to start to shame, just like the example I gave last week about meditating.


They can be just what we need to uncover our inner wisdom.  If we’re practicing noticing, we often times have really great reasons why we are/are not doing things.  And for many people they’re insight right into our wounds, our pain or our fear of vulnerability.

Often times watching late night tv is directly related to something else.  What might it be? It first could be that we LOVE the (fill in the blank) show.  The Kardashians really do it for us and they aren’t on until 11 and we HAVE to watch.  It also could be that this is the only opportunity for down time we’ve created in our entire day so it feels nice to sit. It could also be that we have a big project due at work and we’re nervous about it. It also could be…. you know the answer when you notice it.

What if your body is oh-so very smart?

What if your brain is super strategic in finding ways to keep you safe? To keep you feeling protected?

What if your body is doing it’s best job to meet your needs?

What if it was ok to be in some of your anxiety?

What if it was ok to notice some of your pain?

Noticing is the first part and it helps us practice being.  For example, learning how to be in the wound of only caring for others, rarely caring for myself is directly what helps heal the wound.  Noticing how to be in a relationship with your husband (and in a relationship with yourself navigating a relationship with your husband) is exactly how you start to know from where the anger bubbles.


Next step: Ask yourself your own what if’s as an opportunity to be.


About the Author

Monica O'Connell

Monica O’Connell is a Licensed Marriage and Family therapist in Minneapolis, Minnesota. In her practice, she spends her career cheering on “Career Girls” as they learn how to get the most out of life. Monica works with arguably some of the most successful, intelligent, inspiring women in the Twin Cities who tackle self-discovery, career success, and what’s getting in the way of their true desires. She shares her favorite moments as those “best described not by words but by the stomach aching, face soreness that comes from spending an entire day laughing with loved ones.”