Aging in America
Today is my birthday — I am now officially middle-aged.
Hell, who am I kidding? That’s even being generous — by that definition it means I need to live until I’m 106 and I have no intention of doing that — I can’t afford it! As a matter of fact, when I go it better be quick because I can’t afford to linger either. (Yes. I know it’s a morbid thought, but I’m just pointing out the facts.)
Welcome to my world — when I’m in this frame of mind (battered and defeated) I turn to humor because none of us are alone in this boat! Enjoy!
Here’s a few ways you know you’re getting older:
- Other people refer to you as middle-aged: It’s one thing for me to say I’m middle-aged, but it’s an entirely different story when others refer to me that way. I recently had a PR person say (in reference to me), People love sassy middle-aged women! Why do you think Sylvia is so popular? Gee thanks, bitch.
- Twenty-somethings reference their parents when chatting with you: OMG! My mom loves that show, too! or My dad said the same thing about his iPad. You know they have the mini now? Why would a smaller version of something I CAN’T SEE NOW help me? And, by the way, I realize “they” is Apple.
- You start receiving left-handed compliments: You look great — for your age! There is also the equally disheartening variation on a theme, I hope I look as good as you when I’m you’re age! Yeah — about that…word to wise…start cutting back on calories now and say goodbye to carbs. Oh, and the wine? It packs a lot of calories for little nutritional content — best to skip it. And, what they say about gaining weight as you age? Totally true.
- You need to explain what a left-handed compliment is: Your tried and true cliches, expressions, or ‘pop’ culture references are no longer used, or understood by younger people.
- Any diplomacy skills (never a long-suit anyway) evaporate when a nice man at a networking lunch tries to make conversation:
How does it feel to celebrate your birthday?
You know, it’s tough being a women aging in America.
Really How so?
How so? It’s an up at dawn pride-swallowing-siege that I will never fully tell you about!
(Full Disclosure: That’s not even my own line, I borrowed it from Cameron Crowe!)
And, so it goes Career Girls! We all have ups and downs, so whine a bit, laugh it off, and then conquer the world!