Aging in America

Posted December 10, 2013 by Katherine Toll in Life After Five

Sylvia Image

Today is my birthday — I am now officially middle-aged.

Hell, who am I kidding? That’s even being generous — by that definition it means I need to live until I’m 106 and I have no intention of doing that — I can’t afford it! As a matter of fact, when I go it better be quick because I can’t afford to linger either. (Yes. I know it’s a morbid thought, but I’m just pointing out the facts.)

Welcome to my world — when I’m in this frame of mind (battered and defeated) I turn to humor because none of us are alone in this boat! Enjoy!

Here’s a few ways you know you’re getting older:

  • Other people refer to you as middle-aged: It’s one thing for me to say I’m middle-aged, but it’s an entirely different story when others refer to me that way. I recently had a PR person say (in reference to me), People love sassy middle-aged women! Why do you think Sylvia is so popular?  Gee thanks, bitch.
  • Twenty-somethings reference their parents when chatting with you: OMG! My mom loves that show, too! or My dad said the same thing about his iPad. You know they have the mini now?  Why would a smaller version of something I CAN’T SEE NOW help me? And, by the way, I realize “they” is Apple.
  • You start receiving left-handed compliments: You look great — for your age! There is also the equally disheartening variation on a theme, I hope I look as good as you when I’m you’re age! Yeah — about that…word to wise…start cutting back on calories now and say goodbye to carbs. Oh, and the wine? It packs a lot of calories for little nutritional content — best to skip it. And, what they say about gaining weight as you age? Totally true.
  • You need to explain what a left-handed compliment is: Your tried and true cliches, expressions, or ‘pop’ culture references are no longer used, or understood by younger people.
  • Any diplomacy skills (never a long-suit anyway) evaporate when a nice man at a networking lunch tries to make conversation:

How does it feel to celebrate your birthday? 

You know, it’s tough being a women aging in America.

Really How so?

How so? It’s an up at dawn pride-swallowing-siege that I will never fully tell you about!

(Full Disclosure: That’s not even my own line, I borrowed it from Cameron Crowe!)

And, so it goes Career Girls! We all have ups and downs, so whine a bit, laugh it off, and then conquer the world!

About the Author

Katherine Toll

Katherine (Kathi) Toll possesses more than 20 years of management and consulting experience within the retail and beauty industry. Her industry experience combined with her special brand of irreverence fuels her mission to find the ‘must-have’ beauty products for Career Girls of all ages. She aspires to remind women the airbrushed perfection of the beauty industry must be tempered with a healthy dose of humor. Kathi holds a general management certification from Northwestern’s Kellogg School of Management, along with an undergraduate degree from Northwestern’s School of Communications.